


I Never Thought That it Would go This Far

by BeccatheBiscuitBaker



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Anxiety, Awkward Flirting, Babies, Bisexual Connor Murphy (Dear Evan Hansen), Boys Kissing, Connor Murphy & Zoe Murphy Reconciliation, Crying, Cynthia Murphy Tries, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Evan Hansen Has Anxiety, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Financial Issues, Gay Jared Kleinman, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Sex, Love Confessions, M/M, Nice Jared Kleinman, Parenthood, Past Relationship(s), Prom, Sexuality, Single Parents, Social Media, Soft Connor Murphy (Dear Evan Hansen), Soft Jared Kleinman, Swearing, Teen Pregnancy, accepting yourself
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:34:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 23,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26796700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeccatheBiscuitBaker/pseuds/BeccatheBiscuitBaker
Summary: Connor has made several mistakes in his life, and he knows that.But now there's a baby.
Relationships: Alana Beck/Zoe Murphy, Connor Murphy & Cynthia Murphy, Connor Murphy & Zoe Murphy, Connor Murphy (Dear Evan Hansen) & Original Character(s), Cynthia Murphy/Larry Murphy, Evan Hansen & Connor Murphy, Evan Hansen & Jared Kleinman, Jared Kleinman & Connor Murphy, Jared Kleinman & Zoe Murphy, Jared Kleinman/Connor Murphy
Comments: 51
Kudos: 35





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> Haven't wrote Kleinphy in a while and this seemed like a good idea. I feel like Connor would be the one to end up with a kid out of all of them.
> 
> (Happy Mean Girls day!)

Connor knew he looked like shit, but he frankly didn't have the energy to even try to get ready properly. He simply did his best to focus on school, trying to not put his other responsibilities first for a few hours.

The moment school was over he was out the door. He drove to his crummy apartment building and went to his neighbors apartment.

Lisa lived across the hall and was Connor's saving grace. She welcomed him in and sat him down.

"How was she today?" Connor asked, tying his messy hair back.

"She has quite the temper," Lisa laughed. "But she was good. When is your next shift?"

"All day tomorrow," Connor sighed. " And the day after. I'm sorry I have to even ask--"

Lisa shushed him, "Connor, it's fine. If you need a night off I can keep her tonight."

"No, you don't need to do that," Connor shook his head. "I'm already not paying you enough."

Lisa's daughter, Katie, walked in. Katie was in her thirties, but still lived with Lisa. Not because she didn't have a job, but because of Lisa's health. Katie was already a veteran and a nurse. Connor was the exact opposite of Katie.

"Oh shut up Connor," Katie laughed. "Need any help with homework?"

Yes, "I'm good."

Katie took his backpack anyway. Like she did every afternoon. Katie was a genius, and a great tutor. Connor learned a lot more from her than his teachers. His homework was complete within the hour. Connor has just packed up his books when crying came from Katie's room.

Connor slung his backpack on his shoulders before heading into the young woman's room. There was his baby. The spitting fucking image of him, excusing her hair and eyes. Connor picked her up and headed for the door.

"Thank you Lisa, Katie," Connor sighed, grabbing the diaper bag from by the couch.

"Not a problem dear," Lisa assured, opening the door for him.

Connor unlocked his door and dropped his bags off before tending to the baby. She had stopped crying for the most part, but Connor went through the motions with her, feeding, diaper change, and sitting on the bed with her. She liked laying on Connor's chest.

Connor was about to drift off when his phone buzzed. Cynthia.

_Hi Connor, how are you doing?_

_fine_

_Would you mind if we stopped over tomorrow?_

_I'm working_

_Oh_

_Did you want me to take Anastasia tomorrow?_

_No_

_I have a sitter_

_Okay_

_I'll stop by on Monday then_

_See you then_

Damnit! Monday was probably the worst day for her to come over! But ignoring her would just make it worse. She hasn't seen the baby in almost two months.

Speaking of, the baby was asleep. Connor moved her off his chest and into the bed next to him. He couldn't afford a crib, and this was the only option. Connor got up and grabbed the diaper bag from where he had dropped it. Opening the bag revealed a huge platter of sandwiches. Lisa's doing. Connor undid the plastic wrap and grabbed one for him to eat while he continued digging. He grabbed the stuffed duck and the duck patterned blanket before heading back into the bedroom. He slipped the duck between the baby's arms and placed the blanket on top of her. He went back to the diaper bag and went around setting it up for tomorrow. While organizing he found the money he had given Lisa on Monday sitting at the bottom of the bag. Damn her! She did this every once and a while and Connor hated it.

He loved her for it, but hated it.

Shit! He had bills soon. He grabbed the mail and started writing off the checks. He wouldn't be able to afford food besides what the baby needed, but he had a huge plate of sandwiches to help with that.

Before bed he cleaned the apartment, he wouldn't have time before Cynthia came over. By the time he was done Connor was exhausted. He didn't bother changing before crawling into bed next to the baby.

And then she started crying again. Another day in paradise.


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Connor got into this situation and Cynthia visits

Connor didn't plan on becoming a father at 17. He originally didn't want to be a father at all. But that was behind him, life sucked, but his baby was his reason to live.

She wasn't her mother's.

Connor had met Alexandra--everyone called her Galaxy--at a party. There had been pot and beer and Connor frankly hated drinking. Apparently Galaxy did too. Connor admired her instantly, she had red hair with ugly pastel blue streaks in it, but Connor liked it.

"Hi," she laughed, joint in hand. " 'M Galaxy. You?"

"Connor," he mumbled, sitting next to her. "Fucking hate beer."

"Preach!" Galaxy yelled. She offered him the joint, "Lets dip."

Connor took a hit, not arguing with her. The two left, taking turns with the joint. Galaxy was really short, barely five feet tall. Connor was over six. They walked through a park together, swapping life stories.

"At least you have a family," Galaxy snorted, flopping down in the grass. "My parents got busted for drug possession when I was four, I've been through foster care ever since."

"Didn't stop you from smoking," Connor teased, poking her shoulder.

"Nope! Fucking foster parents have me as a maid, swear to hell. Don't care about me for sure."

"I'm going on four years of untreated depression," Connor sighed.

"Dude, same," Galaxy murmured, taking another hit.

Connor wasn't sure why he liked her so much. She was just...beautiful. And smart. Witty. He liked her. A lot. After she blew the smoke out he kissed her. Just because he wanted to.

"Swear to hell, you eager string bean," she laughed, cupping Connor's face with her hands. "Kiss me again."

And he did.

They started showing up to parties together. Getting high and making out. They still talked outside of that. Whenever Galaxy needed away from her foster family they were together. They were 15 when they met, 16 the first time they had sex. Connor was her string bean and Galaxy was his star face. They felt perfect together.

Connor tried to be open with her, but they both refused to let the other meet their family, so they really only spent time together in each other's homes when the family was out.

One afternoon they had been lounging in Connor's room. She had been acting weird, so Connor was trying to be gentle. She just looked stressed.

"Star face?" Connor murmured, placing a kiss to her right cheek.

"Hmm?" She answered, eyes closed.

Connor handed her his lighter, his way of asking if she wanted to smoke.

"No," she sighed, letting the lighter drop off the bed. "I've got a headache, have any pain killers?"

Connor got up and grabbed what she asked for and a bottle of water. She swallowed the pills before settling into Connor's arms. Connor traced patterns into her arms and let her rest.

"What would it take for you to leave me?" Galaxy asked, her face against Connor's chest.

Connor thought it over, "I mean...if you cheated on me. Or like...no yeah cheating is it."

She chuckled softly, lifting herself up.

"Hey...this is going to sound weird...but could you rub my stomach?"

Connor nodded, "Yeah, just let me go pee quick."

When Connor came back Galaxy had removed her shirt and was only wearing Connor's hoodie and the bra that she claimed was the most comfortable. Connor snuggled next to her and lightly rubbed his hand across her belly. She relaxed and tucked her head in the crook of his other arm.

"I love you," Galaxy whispered, sniffling. "Please don't leave me you string bean."

"I love you too star face," Connor murmured, placing kisses into her hair. "I won't leave."

And he didn't.

A few months after that, eight and a half to be exact, Galaxy had been ignoring him for about a week. Connor was freaking out, she didn't answer his texts or calls. He was in his tenth call of the day when his parents called him downstairs.

His parents looked as confused as he was. Galaxy was standing between to stuck up looking adults, her foster parents. Galaxy looked miserable, she was even crying.

"Well, Alexandra," the woman snapped. "Please, tell the Murphy family what you did."

No one was allowed to call her Alexandra. Connor did it twice as a joke and it just pissed Galaxy off. She started crying harded.

"I-I-I'm so s-sorry Con-Connor," she sobbed. "I t-t-tried to tell y-you but--"

She broke down sobbing. Connor, confused as hell, let her crash into his arms, sobbing into his chest.

"What's going on?" Connor asked the so called parents.

Galaxy clung to him harder, letting out muffled apologies.

"The girl can't speak," Larry said quietly. "Please just tell us."

Galaxy's foster mom walked to their car and returned with a bundle of blankets and a duffle bag. Both were passed to Cynthia, causing her to gasp.

"Meet your grandchild," Galaxy's foster mom announced.

Connor stiffened, "What?"

Galaxy wailed, "I'm sorry!"

The foster parents were emotionless, "Alexandra, we will be back soon. Please, explain yourself."

They walked away, getting into their car and taking off. Larry pulled Connor away from Galaxy and shoved him inside, "What the hell, Connor?!"

Galaxy stumbled after them, "Please! It wasn't h-his fault! I didn't tell him!"

Cynthia was just staring at the baby.

Larry calmed a bit with Galaxy's explanation. He made everyone sit down at the table, Cynthia still infatuated with the baby.

"What's the name?" Cynthia asked.

Galaxy wiped her face off with her sleeve, "Anastasia."

Larry still looked tense as hell, "Please, how long have you two known each other?"

"Amost two years," Connor answered. It was starting to hit him, "Holy shit!"

"I tried to tell you," Galaxy blubbered, tears welling in her eyes. "I swear to hell I did! But...every time I tried I just-- and I thought I'd get rid of her but you didn't know-- and I wasn't showing-- I'm so sorry."

"Honey, Alexandra?" Cynthia snapped her out of it. "Its okay. We aren't mad at you honey."

"I'm not mad," Connor assured, squeezing her hand.

"Larry, now isn't the time to interrogate them, " Cynthia stated. "Right now you two need to make the decision of if you'll be keeping Anastasia or not."

"Its not an option," Galaxy said, her voice not wavering once. "I'm not putting her through what I did, I'm keeping her."

Connor didn't object, she had told him enough stories.

"Okay," Cynthia nodded. "When was Anastasia born?"

"Almost a week ago," Galaxy whispered. "I was released from the hospital this morning."

That explained why she hadn't been answering.

"Okay, Alexandra, how about I teach you some basics. Larry and I will support you two no matter what. Your parents?"

"Foster parents," Connor corrected.

"They don't care what happens to us," Galaxy whispered.

Cynthia nodded, taking Galaxy into her bedroom to teach her mothering basics.

"I'm too young for this," Larry muttered, heading to his office.

Galaxy ended up staying the night with them. Cynthia kept lots of stuff from when Zoe was born, but not a pack 'n play. Anastasia slept on Galaxy's chest.

"We're so screwed," Galaxy whispered, settling down on Connor's bed.

Connor hummed in agreement. They sat in silence for a few minutes before Connor wrapped his arms around her.

"At least we're screwed together," Connor murmured. "Where did you get Anastasia from?"

Galaxy smiled softly, "The princess movie. She looked like that."

"Oh, wow star face," Connor snorted. "Way to give our kid expectations to live up to."

"Babies are ugly," Galaxy stated, rubbing the baby's back. "Whoever said they're cute lied. But damnit, I like her."

Connor nodded in agreement. Anastasia started crying, and Galaxy let out a sigh.

"Do me a favor and grab a diaper," she muttered, unbuttoning her shirt.

Connor got up and opened the diaper bag. He grabbed what she asked for and the package of wipes that were in the bag. Anastasia was quiet now, and when Connor looks up Galaxy was breast feeding her.

"I hate this so goddamn much," she stated, watching the baby. "It feels so gross."

Connor ran a hand through his hair and watched. After a little bit Galaxy passed Anastasia to Connor and like...this was the first time Connor has touched his daughter.

"Burp her," Galaxy mumbled.

Connor didn't even know how to hold a baby, "Uh, how?"

Galaxy positioned Anastasia correctly and moved Connor's arms accordingly. Connor started tapping his daughter's back gently, earning an approving nod from Galaxy. Once she burped Galaxy took her back, unwrapping the bundle she was in.

"One time demonstration," Galaxy sighed, showing Connor how to change a diaper.

By the time everything was done Galaxy looked exhausted. She fell back on the bed and wrapped her arms around Anastasia. Connor snuggled against her and felt an arm slip through his before returning to the baby.

"I hate being a mom," Galaxy whispered. "But she can't be put into a home."

Connor took that as stress. He was wrong.

His family was surprisingly supportive. They agreed to keep Anastasia on the quiet side, and no one bothered to argue. Cynthia adored her and Galaxy, Larry quietly respected their decision, and Zoe was great with babies.

Galaxy switched coming over to Connor's every few days, and during the school hours Cynthia watched over the small baby. It was nothing but happy for six months.

Connor woke up to pounding on the front door. He stumbled down and met Larry in the parlor. They unlocked and opened the front door and found Galaxy's foster parents on the other side. Connor was handed Anastasia and they gave him death stares.

"Where's Alexandra?" Larry asked.

Connor was handed a note and they waited.

"What's going on? " Cynthia asked, walking into the room.

Connor passed her the baby and opened the note.

_Connor,_

_I can't do this. I'm sorry. I tried. I was never fit for parenthood. It's too much for me._

_Please keep her. Don't let her have what I did._

_I love you. I'm sorry._

_~Galaxy_

"Where is she!" Connor demanded.

"She's gone," the foster mom said.

Larry out a hand in his shoulder, trying to calm him down.

"She hung herself," the mother continued. "Funeral is in two days."

With that they walked away.

Once Galaxy was gone Larry's support flew out the window. He insisted that Connor grow up and act like a real father. That's why he moved out, taking Anastasia with him.

Lisa let him into her apartment, Katie packing up the diaper bag inside. The baby was leaning against the couch in a standing position. Connor scooped her up and grabbed the bag from Katie.

"Homework?" Katie asked, placing a pacifier into the baby's mouth.

"Don't have any today," Connor stated. "And my mother is coming so I have to get going."

Katie nodded, ushering him out the door. Connor set the baby down by the kitchen counter and went around unloading the diaper bag. He flinched when a force hit his leg. The baby was staring up at him, clinging to his calf.

"Did...did you walk over here?" Connor asked, shocked.

He received a slightly toothy smile and some gurgling.

Connor picked her up and set her a few feet away. They baby waddled right back over.

"Holy shit you can walk already?"

More gurgling.

"You shouldn't swear around the baby," a voice chided.

Connor flipped around, "Mom!"

Cynthia was standing in the doorway of the kitchen, Zoe at her side. Connor picked up the baby and walked over to Cynthia.

"How are you?"

"Fine," Connor sighed, placing the baby on the floor again.

"Are you up for going out to eat?" Cynthia asked, watching Zoe get down on her knees to play with the baby. "I'm buying."

Connor couldn't turn that down, "Sure."

Zoe booped the baby's nose, and she burst into tears. Connor picked her up and handed her the stuffed duck, silencing her.

"Don't touch her face with your nails, " Connor sighed, passing the baby to Zoe.

Zoe watched her niece bury her face into the duck.

"She really likes the duck," Zoe whispered. "Don't you Anastasia?"

"She's obsessed with ducks," Connor confirmed.

The four went out to Cynthia's car. Connor moved the baby's carseat into the car before getting in next to her.

Dinner was fine for the most part. Cynthia kept using baby talk at the baby, something Connor never did.

"How old is she now?" Zoe asked, watching Connor hand her a noodle.

"Almost ten months," Connor whispered, handing the baby another noodle.

"Remember that babies can't have fish for the first year," Cynthia chided.

"I know."

"How is work?" Cynthia asked.

"Busy," Connor mumbled, continuing to feed the baby.

Any help Connor had received from his family he had paid back. Their support wasn't needed anymore. Cynthia started the baby talk again, passing Connor off.

"Mom, stop talking to her like that," he snapped.

"Connor, just let me spoil my granddaughter a little, will you?"

"She isn't stupid, don't talk to her like that. Please."

Dinner passed in almost complete silence after that. Once he was back home he decided to turn in early, placing the baby next to him. She crawled right on top of him.

"Stinker," Connor mumbled, pressing a kiss into her hair.

She hit him with her duck.

Connor snorted, getting up and swinging her around. Baby giggles were such a mood changer.

"Bed now," Connor whispered after a few minutes. He set her down on the bed and handed her the duck and blanket. She was out instantly, Connor right behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We get into the Kleinphy next chapter I promise.


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baby troubles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmmm no comments and I'm on chapter three? Give me some feedback please! Any suggestions? Let me know! Connor being a good dad is based off of my own father, who was an awesome dad most of the time. He had his moments tho.

Connor collapsed against the counters. The baby was finally asleep. She had been crying all morning and Connor hasn't been able to console her, not even the duck helped. Thank God it was a snow day, Lisa would have hated her today. Connor was exhausted.

When did he last shower? Too long. He wasn't close to wearing clean clothes. He was disgusting and he knew it.

Knocking at the door had him getting up. The baby was passed out on the couch and Connor was terrified to wake her up.

"Hi?" Connor greeted quietly.

One of his classmates--Jared-- was on the other side of the door, "Hey, thanks for letting me borrow your notes...um, no offense but you look like shit."

Connor grabbed the notebook from his hands, "Thanks."

Jared gave him a look over, "Are you okay?"

"Fine, thanks-"

Wailing cut him short. He turned around to go comfort the baby, not caring that Jared was following.

"You babysit?" Jared laughed. "I never thought you'd be good with children."

Connor picked up the screaming baby, "I'm not. What do you want?"

The baby just cried more.

"Who's baby?"

Connor looked at her, "Mine."

Jared looked flustered as hell.

"You--have a kid?"

Connor nodded, placing her on the floor, "Yep. And she won't shut up!"

Connor walked into the kitchen to grab the baby some water, she walked after him screaming bloody murder.

"What's her name?" Jared asked, watching the scene unfold.

"Anastasia," Connor grumbled, handing the baby her water. She tossed it to the ground, but the lid stayed on tight.

"How old is she?"

"Ten months."

Jared looked at the baby for a moment.

"Is she teething?"

"Yeah," Connor sighed, trying the water again.

Jared gave him a look, "Teething tablets and a teething ring you idiot."

"I don't have those," Connor muttered.

Jared sighed, "Look, Connor, how about you take a shower and I'll watch Anastasia. Then I can watch her while you get her some medicine."

Connor was so tired he couldn't refuse, "Thank you."

Showering felt amazing. To be in clean clothes was also nice. Connor gave Jared his number for if there was an emergency and he headed off. The roads were cleared at this point, but it was still snowy. He accidentally ran into Cynthia at the pharmacy.

"Hey honey," she greeted. "How is Anastasia?"

"Teething," Connor sighed. He really couldn't afford the medicine, but he honestly needed it.

"Connor, let me take care of it," Cynthia said calmly, taking the bottle from him. Connor started to protest, but he was shushed, "This isn't for you, it's for my granddaughter. I was going to stop by with some things for her anyway, okay? She's probably going to want a teething ring too, I'm thinking the one with a duck on it?"

Connor nodded, following his mother around as she grabbed what she needed. When they checked out Connor lead the way back to the apartment building. The baby was passed out again on the couch, but Connor didn't care. Jared was scrolling through his phone next to her.

"Thanks for watching her," Connor sighed, putting the teething tablets on the counter.

Cynthia smiled at Jared before handing Connor a bag, "These are for her." She quickly dashed over and pressed a kiss to the baby's forehead before leaving.

Jared didn't make a move to leave, just kept scrolling through his phone.

Connor started emptying the bag. Some crackers that the baby liked, a rubber duck, a hat with a duck on it-- look the duck thing was Galaxy's fault okay-- coffee...okay, you win Cynthia. He would have to thank her later.

The baby started crying again. Connor shoved the teething tablets in her mouth before handing her the teething ring.

"So," Jared smiled, watching Connor. "Do you and Anastasia's mom have a schedule worked out or whatever?"

"She...She isn't here anymore."

Jared looked horrified with himself, "Oh, I'm sorry. Were you two close? I mean, obviously you were if you had a kid together but--"

"The baby was an accident," Connor sighed, watching said baby gnaw on the teething ring, drool covering her face. "But yeah, we were best friends. She just...couldn't handle being a mom, and her life was awful for the longest time...it- she's in a better place now."

"How long ago?"

Connor wiped her face off with his sleeve, sitting down and placing the baby in his lap, "Four months. She...She said that she wanted me to keep the baby, and after what her life was like in the system, I wasn't about to give her up. My dad refused to support me after she...died. I moved out, and don't talk to my family anymore. All I need is in this tiny, asshole of a child."

The baby started looking around for her duck, squealing when she saw it on the floor. Connor grabbed it and let her hold it. She had acquired more drool, so Connor wiped her face off again.

"Look, Connor, I know we aren't like...close or whatever," Jared mumbled. "But, if you need to talk to someone you can talk to me. And I can totally watch Anastasia if you need me to, she's chill for a baby."

"I have a sitter, but thanks," Connor chuckled. "And shut up, my child is an absolute monster, just like me."

Jared snorted, "What's with all the ducks?"

Connor smiled, "Galaxy, her mom, she had a really bad childhood. In and out of foster homes a lot. She didn't have much for toys, and to her ducks were a staple of chidhood. So...ducks. Anastasia can't sleep without this huge one, " he held up the stuffed one quick, "and my mother feeds the madness by buying more ducks. There has been some duck themed clothing that baby here will love, now that she fits into them."

Jared looked at him in astonishment, "Galaxy? You slept with Alexandra Rivers?"

Connor nodded, confused.

"Wasn't she a hardcore drug addit?"

Connor resisted the urge to smack him, "No. We were both pot heads and that's the worst of it. She quit when she found out she was pregnant, and I quit when I found out about the baby. She just liked being away, and that often meant her having a bad reputation."

"Sorry."

Connor didn't respond, just wiped the baby's face again. She was gurgling while chewing on the teething ring.

"She looks just like you," Jared observed. "I mean, besides the hair."

"Eyes," Connor added, watching the baby swing the duck around. The baby has the almost black irises, just like Galaxy.

Jared nodded, agreeing.

"Let me know if you need anything, I'm going to head back home," Jared laughed.

Connor snorted, "No way in hell that you can get me a better job."

"Try me," Jared smirked. "How much do you make?"

Connor told him.

"I'll talk to you on Monday."

Connor was between classes when he got a text from Katie.

_My mom called me_

_Baby is sick_

_You need to take her to the doctor_

_omw_

Connor turned to the office and met the secretary, "Um, I have a family emergency, can I go home?"

She said that she had to call Larry and ask him for permission. He asked to speak with Connor.

_"What's the emergency?"_

Connor sighed, "Anastasia is sick and I need to pick her up."

_"Your mother can go get her, you can stay in school."_

"But--"

_"End of discussion."_

Connor handed the phone back and trudged back to the classroom. His phone buzzed with a text from Cynthia a few minutes later.

_Where is the sitter?_

_Across the hall from my place._

_OKay! I'll text you with updates!_

Connor could hardly focus on his schoolwork. He was the parent, he should be caring for his daughter.

"Hey Connor," a voice greeted.

Connor whipped his head up, Jared was standing in front of his desk.

"We're partners," Jared hummed, tapping on his worksheet.

He couldn't focus. Cynthia wasn't messaging him at all.

"Connor, what's wrong?"

Connor explained the situation quietly. No one knew he had a kid besides Jared.

Jared, on his part, does his best to distract Connor. It doesn't really help, but he won't have homework and that's a plus.

Cynthia is watching the baby play when he gets back to his apartment. She looks fine, a little dazed, but fine.

"Aaaaaaa!" the baby screams when she sees Connor, running up to him, duck clutched in one fist.

"Hi!" Connor greeted, swinging her up into his arms. She has a fever, clearly, but she's grinning like an idiot. Shoving the duck in his face.

Connor looks to Cynthia for an update, as he didn't receive a single text.

"Ear infection," she said, standing up from the couch. "Her perscription is on the table."

She heads to the door, but turned around last second.

"Come over for dinner next week?" She asked. "I think your dad needs to see how good you're doing."

Every day is a struggle and Connor hasn't eaten a proper meal in three days, but yeah, he's doing good.

"Okay."

Connor sets the baby down and handed her some crackers. She started chewing on them, so Connor takes the duck away. She knows the rule about duck and eating. Add he is about to check for his own food, his phone buzzed with a text from Jared.

_Lmao forgot to tell you at school_

_But u should have a job in like...two weeks max_

_boss of the place is away for the weekend, I'll text u w/updates_

_Chill_

_thx_

The baby walked over to him, tugging on his pant leg, "Eeeeeee!" She pointed at where Connor set the duck out of her reach.

Connor offered her more crackers but she pushed the box away, "Eeeeee!"

Connor handed her the duck, watching her rush around the apartment pretending she can fly the duck. She spotted her hat on the counter and reached for it, her chubby baby arms not long enough.

"How about we go outside, hmm?" Connor asked, placing the hat on her head. He can't afford it, and it isn't the right time of year, but he wants to take her to get ice cream. He used to go with Galaxy all the time.

He forced on Anastasia's jacket and pulled her into his arms. She happily sits in the car, not fussing when Connor buckled her in. The ride is quiet, excusing some babbling from Anastasia talking to her duck.

Connor tried to get her to leave the duck in the car, but she started to throw a fit, so he let her carry the duck. Anastasia giggled as Connor swung her up in his shoulders, her free hand clinging to his head.

He hasn't been in public with the baby for a while now. He gets looks from the middle aged women in the cafè, but he brushed them off, hearing Anastasia squeal when she sees who's working the counter.

"Hey Zoe," Connor greeted, Anastasia trying to get down to see her aunt.

"Hey Connor," she smiled, giving him a look. "Hi Anastasia! Did you come to see auntie Zoe?" The baby squealed, hearing her name. "I'm off in ten, mind if I join you?"

Connor smiled at her, "Go ahead, vanilla please."

Zoe rang them up and gave Connor a warning glance when he went to complain that she used her employee rewards on him. He takes the ice cream and walked outside. Anastasia sat nicely on the bench, accepting the small bites Connor offered her. Zoe comes out a while later with a coffee.

Anastasia was a mending point for them. It made Zoe believe that he could be a good person, and they were closer because of that.

Anastasia reached for the duck she shoved in Connor's hood, but she spots a duck over by the frozen pond across from them and screams. She turns to Zoe and pulled on her jacket, begging to go over.

"Didn't know ducks were back yet," Zoe hummed, glancing over. "Do you want to feed the ducky, Anastasia?"

She kept pulling on the jacket, so Zoe scooped her up, leading them across the road. Zoe bought some duck food from the canister by the pond and handed some to Anastasia. They baby shuffled over and gave a weak toss, sending the food a few feet in front of her. The duck instantly waddled over, not scared of the baby in front of them. The duck simply are from Anastasia's hand when offered, but they got to close to her face and she ran away, throwing the rest of the food behind her. Connor has the stuffed duck ready, handing it to his daughter as she approached.

"You're a good dad, Connor," Zoe whispered, starting towards her car. "Bye Anastasia!"

They baby simply squealed, hiding behind Connor's leg.

And...He's starting to believe it.

He _is_ a good dad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to my dad for having my brother when he was still in high school, you inspired this madness!


	4. Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slow burn? Never heard of her.

Connor really hoped he wasn't getting detention. He had to pick up Anastasia. The secretaries gave him the usual posh looks as he went back into the principal's office. He had been there several times in the past four years, most of them bullshit.

"Relax, Connor," Mr. Howard sighed, watching Connor like a hawk.

Connor didn't relax. He sat across the desk and waited.

"We were not aware that you were caring for a child outside of school, Connor," Howard started. "How is your relationship with your child?"

That probably triggered Connor more than it should have, "Look, if you're accusing me of hurting my _daughter_ then fuck off--"

Howard shushed him, "No, I just want to let you know that you have the school to support you."

Connor didn't fake any understanding, that was total bullshit.

"Are you also holding a job outside of school?"

Connor nodded, unsure of where this was heading.

"We have a program for students in situations like you," he explained. "It allows you to have a reduced workload and join school virtually two days of the week. Of course of your grades fall then we will have to pull you from the program, but it's up to you."

Was he actually being genuine?

"Oh."

Mr. Howard smiled, "I can email your teachers. No one knows the full situation besides me and Mr. Storm, and we can keep it that way. Let me know when you decide what days you'll be taking off so I can date your schedule, all you will have to do those days is email your teachers for assignments. Have a good weekend."

Connor stood up, "Um, thanks...you too?"

He walked out and went back to class. Did that actually just happen? His phone buzzed with a text from Zoe and he checked it quick.

_Omfg I can't stop laughing_

_Dad's face last night when you shut him down_

_priceless!_

_Yeah well I think I just got myself banned from visiting for the holidays_

_good to know u laughed_

Dinner with the family sucked. Larry looked pissed beyond reason that Connor was actively taking charge of the baby. He kept giving sly comments about what he should do with her, and Connor ignored them for the most part, but when it got out of hand Connor simply stated that he was Anastasia's father and he would be the one to decide what was best for her. Not Larry. It had felt good, he was in the right.

The rest of the day was smooth, no homework over the weekend was always good. Traffic was down for once, which was nice, driving could be quite anxiety inducing sometimes.

"Hey Connor," Katie greeted in her scrubs. He was handed the baby and her diaper bag, "My mom had an appointment, and my shift starts soon. Have a good night, I'm working this weekend."

Connor didn't flinch, just walked across the hall to his apartment.

Anastasia walked around the apartment, her duck in hand. She was going through a stage of searching each room repeatedly. Connor sat down on his crappy couch and went through his notes for a quiz he would have next week. Of course Anastasia was having none of that, always upset when Connor wasn't paying her any attention. The baby threw a cup at Connor, hitting his leg.

"Why couldn't have you been like your mom," Connor muttered, sitting Anastasia in his lap. He didn't have a tv, but he gave the baby his phone and that shut her up. She just gnawed on his case, her baby teeth not damaging anything.

Anastasia was asleep on him after five minutes. Connor grabbed his phone and replaced it with the duck, going back to the notes.

But knocking on the door ended that. Connor got up, careful to not disturb Anastasia, and opened the door. Jared.

"Hey dude, where's Ana?"

Connor blinked, "Who the fuck is Ana?"

"Anastasia?"

Connor scrunched his nose, "Never call her Ana again, she is napping."

Connor let Jared in, not really sure why he was there.

"Right, well, this is for you," Jared handed him a bag. "You start tomorrow."

Connor opened the bag and pulled out a cheap nametag with his name on it.

"You actually got me a new job?"

Jared shrugged, looking at his feet, "You needed it. I don't know what you're making, but I was told that it'll be more than you were at your old job. Since your first shift is tomorrow morning, take Anastasia with you and I'll watch her at my place."

Connor rolled his eyes, "Thanks, but I have a sitter. Unless she cancels it won't be needed. Where am I working?"

"Bookstore at the edge of the business district."

"Kathy's Coffee?"

Jared nodded, "Yeah, uniforms are the same for the coffee place and the bookstore, can't tell you which one you'll be doing. You'll get trained in."

Connor smiled, "I stopped going when duck lover was born, but I used to go there all the time." He laughed, "That's actually where Galaxy accused us of being bisexual disasters and she came out to me."

Anastasia was up now. She managed to get down from her resting place and walked over to Connor, "Eeeeeee!"

"Duck is over there where you left him."

Anastasia pouted, turning to Jared, "Eeeeeee!"

Connor gave him a warning glance, "Don't give her the duck, she has to get the duck herself. Upper body strength."

Jared did his best to ignore the baby that was babbling at him, "Wait--you aren't straight?"

Connor shook his head, displaying the pride ring on his middle finger by mock flipping Jared off.

"Oh, sorry I really shouldn't have assumed but--"

"But I have a kid because I had sex with my girlfriend?"

"Sorry. That's actually a good thing though, because I'm gay, and I was worried we would have like...disagreements if I told you or something. It's stupid, but now we're clear so...yeah." Jared gave him finger guns, backing towards the door, "Um, see you tomorrow?"

Connor gave finger guns back, "See you."

Jared headed out and Connor turned back to Anastasia, who was now back in the couch with her duck, glaring at Connor. Stupid sassy baby.

Connor offered her a banana and she forgot about why she was pissy. She scurried off the couch and accepted the small chunk he offered her. She wasn't big enough to eat the whole thing in one go just yet.

Zoe always asked for pictures of the baby, so Connor snapped a few of her with banana in her face and sent them to her.

_c'mon you need one with her!_

_embarrassed to be in a photo with your baby?_

_Never bitch!_

Connor wiped up Anastasia's face and swooped her up onto his shoulders. The baby loved cameras, so she lit up when she saw Connor turn his phone on. Photogenic, unlike Connor who couldn't take a selfie for the life of him. Connor tilted his head back to look at her and she grinned at him, her mouth drooling profusely. He sent the picture to Zoe and he received a long and annoying string of emojis.

_Omg Connor! So cuteeeeeee! Can I post it on my insta?_

_Zoe._

_ppl don't know I have un bebe._

_I know_

_But she's so stinking cute_

_Look, if it gets out somehow then you can_

_Or after I graduate_

_deal!_

Anastasia finished her banana and she walked into the bedroom, Connor following her. She knew her nightly schedule well, taking her bath without complaint. Connor wondered what the hell she did with Katie and Lisa that day, because she was out like a light. Granted Connor also was asleep early, but that was because he had a new job to be ready for in the morning.

Hopefully it was better than the one he had before 

It was actually a lot better than his old job. Kathy, his boss, was quite nice, asking about Anastasia as she trained him in. Kathy was honestly a godsend, apparently every worker got free coffee on break, which Connor would probably need since he would be working all day. Being surrounded by books was nice, and training went quick.

"Have any suggestions for realistic fiction fanatics like me?" A voice asked as Connor was left alone.

Connor looked up and nearly jumped three feet, Jared was leaning against the counter in front of him.

"Jared!" Kathy's voice rang out as she scurried over to them. "How are you honey?"

"Fine, just making sure you didn't hire an idiot."

Connor scoffed, "You gave me this job, Jared."

Kathy rolled her eyes playfully, "Excuse my son, he's sassy like his father."

Jared shot Connor a worthy death stare, daring him to comment on his relationship with his new boss. Connor conceded, not commenting. Kathy walked away, shaking her head.

"Any suggestions?"

Connor rolled his eyes, " _The Running Dream,_ or _The Hate U Give,_ both are fantastic representations their topics."

Jared nodded, heading off to look at books. Jared actually stayed around for Connor's entire shift, he kept watching Connor from by the coffee shop. When Connor went on break they talked, Jared practically hanging on every word he said. Good fucking lord, Jared was into him. That explained the finger guns yesterday. Wow was he clueless.

When his shift was done Connor asked Jared over and he agreed a little bit too quickly. Connor got over it and went to his car, leading the way.

After a quick stop to grab Anastasia the two were sitting on opposite ends of the couch. Anastasia was playing with her duck in the bedroom.

"So, you told your own mother to hire me?"

Jared shrugged, "She's sympathetic to teen parents. She was one herself. Sorry, if you don't like wor--"

Connor shushed him, "Shut up I need this job."

Jared snorted, "I can't believe this is all happening right now, I'm sorry for laughing."

Connor quirked an eyebrow, "What are you talking about?"

Jared smiled, his face slightly red from laughing, "I am talking to you. Connor Murphy. Who is secretly the best father ever, making the most of a shitty situation, and desperately trying to provide for his daughter. Connor Murphy, the guy who everyone else assumes is a drug addit. I'm am sitting with the guy that no one knows, and he's actually great."

Connor frowned, "Why is that funny?"

Jared smiled, genuine, "Because of all the things I could have expected, you're nice. And everyone would find that hilarious."

Connor rolled his eyes, "I get it, I'm the school freak, no need to rub it in."

"That wasn't an insult."

Connor gave him a look, "You pretty much told me that no one finds me nice, and that I'm a joke."

"It wasn't supposed to come out like that, I swear."

Connor threw his hands up, "How the fuck was it supposed to come out then? 'Cause I'm about two seconds from throwing you out."

Jared buried his face in his hands, "I...look I was trying to say that I'm impressed with you and I like that I get the privilege of seeing a different side to things. I'm not good at expressing things and my words come off wrong most of the time. Facts are more my thing."

"Then you should have said, 'Hey Connor, I think it's impressive that you're a single dad who has practically no outside support, and I appreciate you being vulnerable around me and letting yourself open up for once. Sorry I treated you like an asshole sometimes, because I'm insecure and can't handle my own faults.'" Connor muttered.

Jared stared at him for a moment, processing, "Yeah, that."

Connor shrugged, "Then say it, simple facts. If it's what you're good at them say them."

Jared nodded, "Um, I like you."

Connor let out a snort, "Duh? You aren't subtle at all, Jared."

Jared went red in the face, "O-Oh?"

Connor smiled, "Yeah, but it's okay. You're starting to convince me that you're like...Not an idiot."

Jared stated quiet, tapping his thumb against the side of his hand in a nervous tic.

"You can kiss me if you want, just don't say anything stupid."

It's almost comical how fast Jared leans into him, but Connor can't judge. Jeez, he's been there. Besides, he wants to give this a try.

Wants to give romance another try.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FUCK AMONG US THEY VOTE ME OFF FOR STUPID SHIT LIKE ME NOT TALKING AT MEETINGS BUT THAT'S CUZ EVERYONE DOES THE TALKING FOR ME! I DON'T NEED TO ADD MY OPINION WHEN WE ARE SKIPPING! AND THE TIME THAT YELLOW WAS ALL "PINK VENTED" WHEN I WAS IN FACT IMPOSTER BUT I DIDN'T FUCKING VENT OR KILL ANYONE BECAUSE I SUCK AT BEING IMPOSTER! AND ALL THE PEDOPHILIA AND PERVERTS OMFG! JESUS CHRIST I DON'T WANT TO FUCK YOU IN NAV, GET AWAY!
> 
> the one time I died and the yellow mourned me was cute tho... "Noooo Piiinnnkkk!" Me: "Avenge me yellloooowwwwww!"
> 
> among us is taking over my life when I do in fact NOT have time for that shit.


	5. Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some Jared thoughts

Jared parked his car and let out a sigh. He liked tutoring, but sometimes it was difficult.

He's also feeling guilty because he lied to Connor.

Zoe had taken up the offer of Jared and his tutoring schedule. He worked with a few kids from the school, and he was happy to have more money in his pocket. Connor had asked him over to help study for a test he was worried about, and he was honest about having a tutoring session, just not about who.

He just wasn't sure if Connor would be offended, he didn't speak highly of his family.

it was probably fine, but he had doubts.

Jared stepped out of the car and went up to the house. Zoe let him in and they set up in her living room. Algebra. Ah, Jared was great at math, this would be easy.

Zoe's phone lit up with a text, and Jared spotted her lock screen. Anastasia.

"Okay," Jared hummed, trying to ignore the distraction of his boyfriend's kid. "So, these are just transitions. Are you allowed notes for quizzes and stuff?"

Zoe nodded, pulling out a notebook with doodle covered notes. Jared wrote a simple key for her to use.

"See, with translations, when it comes to left or right, it's opposite. If you add, then you move left. Subtract is right, but if there aren't parentheses, then you move up or down. Adding up, subtracting down. It's normal for up and down. Does that make sense?"

Zoe nodded, looking at the notes Jared wrote, "What about reflections?"

Jared opened Zoe's textbook to her assignment, "Focus on these transitions first. One step at a time."

Zoe caught on fast, her issue was that she overthinks. Questioning the placement of a negative sign and such. Easy mistakes.

"This is great, thanks Jared," Zoe got up to grab his fee. Jared spotted a family photo album on a shelf and he picked it up. He didn't know much about Connor's life before Galaxy.

"That's got some real embarrassing photos in there, watch out," Zoe snorted. "Want to look?"

Jared let her lead him through the book. There was lots of young Connor pictures, they faded to just Zoe around when they hit middle school.

"Connor, he wasn't as social after all the idiots started picking on him," Zoe shrugged. "Now...I guess moving out was the best option. He's an independent person, quiet. We don't talk much, I think he's embarrassed of me. You're friends with him, right?"

Jared nodded, "Yeah. Anastasia is a lot like him."

Zoe snapped up, "You know about her?!"

Jared nodded, confirming her question. He hasn't meant to bring it up, but oops.

"I miss her a lot," Zoe confessed. "He's crazy protective of her, he won't even let us babysit her anymore. I'm lucky when I get pictures of her." She pulled out her phone, "I mean, this is adorable as shit."

In said picture Connor is grinning up at a drool covered Anastasia sitting on his shoulders. It's pretty cute.

"She loves ducks," Zoe stated. "I know she's really young, but I want to ask Connor if I can take her to get her ears pierced, because I found these cute ass duck earrings and she would love them."

She scrolled to a picture of her holding said earrings. Jared is pretty sure Anastasia would adore them, if her obsession had anything to say.

"Just ask him," Jared shrugged. "He won't bite your head off for offering. Show him the earrings, I'm pretty sure he likes ducks just as much as her."

"Nah, that's just how...Galaxy just wanted things that way I guess. Damnit, I still feel like shit about her. She was like my sister, they were fucking soulmates probably. I...I don't think I should dump my issues on you, I'm sorry."

Well that made him feel like shit. Was he even a good boyfriend? They hadn't been together for long but...would it even be possible to have something close to what he had with Galaxy?

"Well, thanks for your help Jared," Zoe handed him the money. "I liked talking to you about him, it's kind of banned in the house to mention...everything."

Jared bit his goodbyes and went back to his car, opening his messages with Connor.

_yo_

_Do you still want me to come over?_

_YES_

_Please_

_Demon is pissed and I need a distraction_

_Omw_

Jared hated to judge, but Connor's apartment building sucked. There wasn't even security to get in the building, Jared could just go up. Jared hardly knocked before getting pulled inside.

Anastasia was trailing Connor without pause, yelling baby noises that only Connor could decipher. Jared spotted her duck on the counter and went to give it to her.

"Don't!" Connor stopped him. "The little bitch bit me, she doesn't get duck until she goes to bed."

Anastasia weakly threw her cup at Connor, it missed but Connor still whipped around to glare at her.

"No," Connor whispered. "We do not _throw things_ Anastasia." He picked her up and placed her in the bedroom before closing the door. Jared could hear muffled crying, but it stopped after a few minutes. Connor grabbed the duck and went back in, returning empty handed.

"She's out," Connor sighed. "Never have kids."

Jared nodded, letting himself get pulled over to the couch.

"Do you want help for that test tomorrow?"

Connor shook his head, "Nah, Katie was over earlier with food and she helped me. How was tutoring?"

Jared shrugged, "Good I guess. You okay?"

Connor nodded, "Yeah, guess I didn't need you to come over. You can head home if yo--"

Jared hasn't actually initiated a kiss between them yet, but fuck it. Connor seemed chill with it. Jared happily let him take the lead, both adjusting to be more comfortable. Connor broke off first and sighed against Jared's neck before pressing his lips against the skin.

"Stop--it tickles!" Jared laughed, pushing Connor away. He pulled back, but Jared just leaned in for another kiss. Connor sighed into the kiss, intertwining their hands.

"You should get home," Connor murmured. "School tomorrow and all."

Jared sighed, falling back against the couch, "Fine. See you tomorrow?"

Connor nodded, leading him to the door. It was always weird, leaving Connor's place. He only lived a few blocks away, a nicer neighborhood by far though. Connor didn't deserve to have such a crappy home.

The next day Connor met up with him at lunch, his online gradebook pulled up on his phone.

"Tell me how I did," he whispered.

Jared looked through and found the class he was worrying about. He did fine, a B-. Jared gave him a grim look.

"Low F Connor," Jared sighed. "I thought you got help?"

Connor looked kind of pissed, grabbing his phone back, "What that's total shit, I studied all fucking wee-- fuck you, Jared!"

Jared laughed, leaning against the row of lockers, "Good job."

Connor rolled his eyes, "Whatever, you get straight A's and all that jazz, I just...I need to keep my grades up so I can stay home on my scheduled days. I...I didn't realize I'm missing so much. I didn't teach her to walk, she's starting to talk already which is terrifying."

"Um, she makes noises, she doesn't speak."

Connor clearly had a remark to make but Zoe came over, ending the conversation.

"Hey dude," Zoe sighed. "So, I bought these earrings and wanted to ask if I could take Anastasia to get her ears done?"

She held up the earrings with a pleading look on her face. It was incredibly visible how he closed up around her, hunching and losing eye contact.

"I don't think she's old enough yet."

His voice was so strained, terrified but also firm.

"Oh, come on Connor, please?"

Connor shook his head, "No. I'm sorry."

Zoe sighed, "Could I watch her this weekend? I know you're working, and I can watch her at your place."

"I hav--"

"Yeah, you have a sitter!" Zoe snapped. "I know! Why can't you just get your head out of your ass and let me watch her? I'm not charging you! I just want to see my niece! Why can't you get that through your head?"

Connor glared at her hard, Jared hasn't actually seen Connor this angry before. He's only heard stories.

"I make the choice of what my daughter does, not you. You didn't defend me when I got kicked out, you didn't defend her! I have to starve myself sometimes so she can eat, but I'm just being an asshole. You don't see her because I can't afford to risk being dependent! Now lay off!"

Jared is honestly impressed with Connor's self control. He wasn't wrong, he gets to decide what's best for her.

"Galaxy wouldn't have wanted you to keep her from us," Zoe stated.

Mentioning her pricks a nerve, Connor warning her not to step further.

"She would want us to be a happy family. She would have let me see her. You know that."

"Yeah, she was reckless," Connor hissed. "She was reckless and immature and irresponsible! She would have let you take her whenever you fucking wanted! Why? Because she didn't want to be a mom! She didn't want her! Hell, you could have asked her if you could tattoo your name into her skin and she would have let you! She didn't care, ever! She told me from the beginning that she didn't want to be a mom! Galaxy was a ticking time bomb from the moment I met her, the baby just blew her up!"

"Then why did you like her?"

"Because so am I!"

Connor stormed away before things could get worse, leaving Jared in shock.

"What the actual fuck is wrong with you?" Jared asked, turning on Zoe. "Could you have screwed that up any-fucking-more?"

"It's his fault! He's the one who starts this shit!"

Jared scoffed at her, he might suck at social clues, but even he wasn't that dumb.

"You called him a bad father for protecting his daughter, mentioned his ex who killed herself because of said daughter, you did this. Why didn't you just kick him in the shin like a normal person?"

Zoe stammered, unable to collect her words.

"You just lost any chance of getting close to her now. You broke any trust he could have had."

Jared turned on his heel and went to find his pissy boyfriend. He wasn't hard to find, Connor mentioned he liked the computer lab because it was always empty.

"Hey, you okay?" Good fucking lord he was stupid! "Don't answer that, dumb question. How can I help."

Connor just shrugged, but he accepted the hug that Jared offered.

"I just want to go home, not have any responsibility for a few hours."

Jared sighed, sitting next to Connor, "Why not just ditch? Say you have a family emergency and leave. I'll come with."

Connor stared at him, dumbfounded.

"What?"

Connor grabbed him by the shoulders, "Did you, my boyfriend, who actually cares about education, just suggest I skip? And offer to join me?"

Jared let out a laugh, "Connor, I've skipped several times in the past. We can go to my place since we don't want to deal with the baby for a little while and you can excessively eat my mom's baked goods that she doesn't stop making."

Connor sighed, taking in the offer, "Okay, fine. Meet you in the parking lot."

After sending his mother a text to excuse him because of "a migraine" he leads the way to his house. Connor is quiet, taking in the house. It must be weird for him to not have a job to focus on, the only time he's without the baby is for school or work after all.

"There are lemon bars and shit if you're hungry," Jared offered, , leading them to the kitchen. His mother had an issue about baking, and the whole island being covered with baked goods was proof. Masters father brought pans to work every day but that didn't help.

"Ooh, these ones are still warm, she must have just left," Jared hummed, opening a container of brownies.

"Um, thanks," Connor mumbled, taking a single lemon bar. They snack in silence, Connor and his broody style don't match the warm kitchen at all, but it doesn't matter. Actually, not to be rude but Connor's hair looks disgusting. He's probably shouldn't say that out loud.

"When's the last time you washed your fucking hair, dude?"

Goddamnit brain!

Connor curls in on himself a bit, "Last Friday? I was working. I know it's bad bu--"

Jared took his hand, pulling the lanky teen up the stairs. He offered one of the nice, fluffy towels, a washcloth, and one of his button ups that didn't fit.

"Take as long as you want, I'm washing your jacket because I haven't seen you without that thing since we met. No offense."

Connor is clearly uncomfortable with the idea of using someone's house to shower, but he doesn't protest. He hands his hoodie over before locking himself in the bathroom Jared showed him.

There hoodie is covered with stains that only the baby could have caused, and Jared gives the hoodie the whole washing machine. He heads into his room to wait for Connor.

When he emerges his hair is up in that towel thing that his mom does and it's actually kind of cute. Jared has Netflix pulled up for them to watch, repenting control issues with the remote so Connor can choose.

Connor, despite being well...Connor...He chooses New Girl, and Jared can't complain. It's a great fucking show.

They're both asleep before the first episode is over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmmmmmmm....do I continue next chapter where I left off, or time skip??? I'm thinking picking it up so there's more drama, but let me know your ideas.


	6. Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if this counts as a trigger warning, but Zoe makes some comments that may be offensive, so be warned. (She's basically slut shaming but still)

Connor cracked his eyes open and looked around. Sunlight was hitting his face and made him squint. Somehow he had managed to get wedged between Jared and the wall, and if the red mark had anything to say he had fallen asleep on Jared's arm. Jared himself was still conked out, his glasses awkwardly resting on his forehead. Connor reached up to remove them and place them on the headboard.

What time was it? Connor pulled his phone out of his back pocket and checked. Shit. He was supposed to have picked up Anastasia over two hours ago. He called Lisa in a panic.

_"Connor, it's okay. Anastasia is fine, no need to worry."_

"I'll be over soon, I was at Jared's and I fell asleep and--"

_"Jared is your boyfriend, correct?"_

Connor sighed, "Yeah. Anyway I'll be--"

_"No. Hun, I'm sorry, but you need a break. Stay there, no baby tonight. You need a day to just be a teenager. Act your age for one night and enjoy yourself. Anastasia will be fine, and if something does go wrong I will call you, okay? "_

"But--"

_"No buts. I'll see you tomorrow afternoon, okay?"_

"Okay. Night Lisa."

_"Goodnight Connor."_

Connor dropped his phone and leaned against the wall. A whole day without Anastasia? That hasn't happened since she was born. A door slammed downstairs and Jared jerked awake, clearly puzzled when he saw Connor.

"The fuck are you doing here?"

Connor rolled his eyes, handing Jared his glasses.

"Shit! Sorry. Um, you probably need to leave, right? I just...you've never been in my house before today and it's weird to wake up with your hot as shit boyfriend right fucking next to you when last you remember he hasn't been to your house."

Connor pressed a kiss to Jared's cheek, "Nice to see you too, babe. I'm off parenting duty for the night apparently. Will your parents mind if I'm here?"

Jared shook his head, "Nah. Oh, um, they know I'm gay but...They have no clue about you."

Connor nodded, "Hope not, your mother is my employer."

Jared pressed his lips into a line before getting up. Connor tied his hair back and followed Jared back downstairs. Kathy was on one end of the huge kitchen with a mixer and Jared's father was at the stove.

"Hey Mom," Jared greeted, practically dragging Connor into the room.

Kathy snapped to attention, "Oh, hun, how are you feeling? Better? Did you nap? Do you wan-- oh. Hi Connor, did you need something?"

"Connor was hanging out with me," Jared explained. "Because of the migraine. Is it cool if he stays over?"

Kathy glanced at him before nodding, "Of course! Is someone watching the munchkin?"

Connor confirmed his daughter's safety before being introduced to Jared's father. Ron was a college professor, mathematics.

This was the first time in ages Connor had ate a home cooked meal. Pasta had never tasted that good. And then Kathy, being Kathy, basically forced Connor to take a huge container of cookies to place in his backpack.

"Thank you for dinner," Connor sighed, honestly shocked with the warm welcome.

"We've been in your situation, Connor," Ron explained. "All you need to do is ask. We used to live off of huge bags of peanuts when Jared was little."

Kathy nodded, "Hell, I didn't go to college so we could keep the apartment. Then look what happened, I'm more successful than you by a long shot."

Ron rolled his eyes, "Maybe, but you chose to not go to college, don't make it seem like a sacrifice."

Jared has put his head down on the table by this point, "Can we go one week without you two fight flirting?"

Kathy shot him a death glare, which made her look an awful lot like Jared, "Watch it bud."

Jared grabbed his and Connor's plates, taking them to the kitchen, "We'll be upstairs if you need us, c'mon Connor."

Well that was weird. The two went back to their Netflix binge, Connor careful to not spoil the episodes he already watched. He almost jumped out of his skin when Jared just laid across his lap. It was different for him to just...do what he wanted. Connor was the more comfortable one, but this would be welcome. Connor started running his fingers across Jared's back, causing a visible relaxation.

After a few episodes Jared fell asleep on him. Connor smiled to himself and moved out from under Jared and into the desk chair. Good timing too, because Kathy walked in.

"Hey," she whispered, spotting Jared and his sleeping form. "We meant it at dinner, if you ever need something or if you need an advance on your check just let me know, okay? Being a teen mom was hard enough, I can't imagine doing that without Ron. Just text me, okay?"

Connor nodded, unsure of how else to respond. Kathy walked in and placed a piece of cake on the desk next to Connor and handed him a fork, "If Jared wakes up he can get his own."

Connor snorted, watching her walk out. Jared woke up mid cake slice and he frowned, "What she brought you some but not me? She can't be playing favorites already!"

Connor just shrugged, stuffing a huge piece into his mouth with a smug look. He's almost choked watching Jared stomp out to get his own. Privileged asshole.

After a brief discussion, the two agreed that having Connor sleep on the floor would be the best decision because Kathy liked to check up on guests. Connor actually didn't mind sleeping on the floor, he preferred hard surfaces to soft anyway.

Connor shot awake to actual screaming, "What?!"

Jared just sat up and clicked his phone, ending the screaming, "Something wrong?"

Connor stood up, "Your fucking alarm is screaming! Jesus! I thought it was Anastasia getting murdered, asshole!"

Jared frowned, "Sorry, I should have warned you. I just...don't wake up to normal alarms. Trust me, my parents were pissed in the beginning too."

Connor ran a hand through his hair, "You're fucking lucky that I like you."

Jared smiled, getting out of bed and pressing his lips to Connor's cheek, "Don't I know it!"

Connor went to make a remark, but Jared walked out of the room. Connor folded up the spare blanket he had been given and placed it at the foot of Jared's bed along with the pillow. His hoodie was still being washed apparently, and Connor was without something to cover his arms. He was freezing. Fuck it, boyfriends were allowed to steal other boyfriend's shirts, right? Connor swung open the closet door and scanned the hangers for a sweatshirt. A maroon one with writing was closer and he grabbed it. The writing was just a bunch of random numbers, Connor still put it on. It clearly took Jared by surprise when he came back.

"Nerd gear looks good on you," Jared mumbled, probably what he had hoped was to himself if Connor knew anything about him.

"Thanks, try brooding. Might look great."

Jared handed him an unopened toothbrush, "Here. My ma's got coffee and shit downstairs."

Connor hummed, heading down to the bathroom. He hated using other people's things, but the one thing he couldn't live without was brushing his teeth so he would have to sacrifice his pride just this once. His hair was a mess, so he threw it into a messy bun so it looked purposeful.

Kathy actually had coffee in the same containers as at the shop waiting for him and Jared. Breakfast sandwiches beside them. Connor barely had time to thank her because one look at the clock confirmed that they would be late if he didn't take his food to go.

School was tense. Like...more tense than normal. Jared has vanished to get a check in with one of the tutor kids, so he didn't have anyone to confirm if he was imagining it or not. A few people even shoved him when the hall got crowded. What the hell?

_"--Connor Murphy to Mr. Howard's office.--"_

Okay, he wasn't imagining things if this was happening. He went in and sat down, Mr. Howard returning with Zoe.

"Connor, I'm going to ask that you head home and attend class virtually all this week."

Connor shot to attention, "Why?"

Howard gave him a pitiful look, "Apparently _someone_ made a social media post about you and your daughter. The post has been taken down as of now, but we saw what the comments were like. We don't want you being targeted for being a responsible father."

Connor whipped across to Zoe, "What the hell did you do! You knew I didn't want people to know!"

Zoe didn't respond, just picked at her nails.

Mr. Howard left, shutting the door behind him.

"Zoe I swear to god if you made shit up about how I parent--"

Zoe glared at him, "I told the truth! You're an over protective asshole who wants to dictate her every action! You keep her from us! She is _my_ niece and I deserve to be with her!"

"Wh-- dictate her actions?! She isn't even one yet! I have good reasoning for not letting you be around her and this is one of them. You're such a dramatic bitch!"

Zoe stood up, getting in his face, "I did what I had to do! Karma's a bitch, Connor!"

"Fuck you!"

He stormed out of the room, almost knocking Mr. Howard over.

"Connor, please head home."

"No! If they want to talk shit about me by all means, I'll gladly correct them. It'll just be worse if I hide."

Connor walked out, pissed. In class everyone kept looking at him. By lunch it evolved back to bullying.

"Rapist," one hissed, pushing past him. Connor grabbed him by the sleeve before he could get away.

"What did you just call me?"

The idiot snorted, "We all know the only way you would get some ass was if you raped them. You just got stuck with the repercussions."

Connor pushed him into the locker bay, "I'll have you know that my ex was the mother. But because you don't care about facts, then it doesn't matter what I tell you, I'll be a monster no matter what."

He let the guy go, heading over to the computer lab. At least he had cookies from yesterday.

"Hey," Jared peeped, walking into the room. His knuckles were bruised.

"What the fuck did you do?"

Jared shrugged, "Some idiot in class was talking about you being...well it doesn't matter, but I may have punched him. In the face. I didn't get in trouble though, and it shut him up so..."

Connor walked over and threw his arms around Jared, "Thank you."

Jared started laughing into his shoulder, "Punching people hurts!"

Connor rolled his eyes, "That's why we don't fight people, babe."

The two spent the remainder of the lunch hour talking about everything besides the issue at hand. The afternoon was more hell, but there was nothing he could do. Once he was home he checked Zoe's Instagram. Anastasia was throwing a ball she had found in her pile of toys at the counters. She wouldn't hurt anything.

Her story was a bunch of bullshit lies about how Connor "used to treat her" and she had posted several pictures of Anastasia. None with Connor in them. Looking through the comments was a nightmare.

_**poor girl, stuck with a psycho father** _

_**Who did he have to force to get her into his life?** _

_**Did he rape someone?** _

_**I heard he was beating his last girlfriend because she wanted to leave him. Idk if that's true tho** _

_**who would want to be with him?** _

_**He's a monster** _

_**remember when he threw a printer at Mrs. G in second grade? Connor Murphy is batshit out of his mind, trust me** _

_**If any of you asswipes took the time to talk to Connor instead of bashing him for "supposed claims" then you would know the real story. I've met his daughter and he treats her like a princess. If you're too scared to ask the real sources then you're just a liar and scared of the truth: Connor is a good person who's life has been shit.** _

It simply took reading to confirm that the last comment was Jared. His messages were blowing up with people demanding evidence that Connor didn't rape someone. How could he respond to that? Respond to them they would press and if he explained they would ignore him.

Pounding on the door snapped him away from the screen. He got up and answered the door, Katie pulling him into her arms.

"Are you okay? I saw the post because you were tagged. What can I do to help?"

Connor collapsed into her embrace, "Why does she do this to me?"

Katie shrugged, "C'mon, you're going to our place tonight. Anastasia, c'mere hun."

Anastasia ran over, hearing her name. Connor passed her the duck, her face lighting up.

"Actually, can you watch her for a little while? I'm going to go confront her, I let her out easy earlier."

Katie conceded, taking Anastasia into her arms. Connor headed out, driving to his parents house.

Larry was pacing the floor, Cynthia was stress baking, and Zoe was silent.

"Zoe, how could you do this?" Larry demanded, slamming his hands down on the table. "It was a family agreement that we wouldn't mention Anastasia until Connor graduated!"

Zoe sputtered, "He deserved this! We deserve to see her more than once every two years!"

Connor rolled his eyes, her argument was worthless.

"Still, I mean...The things these comments are saying, are you even defending Connor against these lies!? "

It was midnight, there had been a few hours of shouting leading to this.

"No, I doubt Galaxy agreed to sleeping with him. She was a wreck when she turned up."

"Shut up!" Connor snapped. "You know I wouldn't do that! You know why she was a mess, you do! Don't pin that on me, it's not my fault she killed herself and I'm trying to accept that there was nothing I could do! She was doomed, we all know that!"

"Well, maybe if she kept her legs closed and you kept your dick in your pants then you would have been without Anastasia."

"Zoe--"

"Fuck you! Like you're any better? Have you told dear old Dad here about your little romp with--"

"Zip it dickwad!"

Larry slammed his hands down again, "What?"

"She fucked a linebacker and had a chlamydia scare!"

"WHAT?!" Cynthia screeched.

Zoe whipped around, "It was a false positive, Mom!"

Larry caught everyone's attention and silenced them. He looked pissed.

"Zoe, you are grounded to the house for three weeks, only school, no friends. You also will fix this mess and tell the truth about your brother. Connor, you can stay here tonight. It's late. Next time I ask Connor better not be forced to be called what I saw tonight, understand?"

Zoe didn't listen, "Aren't you going to punish him?!"

Larry sighed, "Connor doesn't live with us anymore, he's his own man. I don't have that power anymore. Besides, he didn't do anything. Now, off to bed."

Connor messaged Katie his location before heading back to his room. It had been months since being in there. Besides being clean for once, it looked the same. The desk was clear of his old clutter of paper and assorted writing utensils.

"You can still take your things if you want," Cynthia peeped. "I put all the art supplies in a box to give to you anyway. Oh, before I forget, what do you want for your birthday? I know it's not for a few months, but I want to be ready."

"Stuff for Anastasia will be fine, thank you."

Cynthia didn't push it. She shut the door behind her and Connor crashed into the mattress. Dumb as it was, he missed this. Having his own room without a child. He'd take some things with him in the morning, he did have a lack of clothing after all.


	7. Seven

_CONNOR WHO THE FUCK IS IN YOUR APARTMENT?!_

_Oh...I moved_

_WHAT_

_WHERE_

_WHY_

_I HAVE TACOS_

_OKAY CALM DOWN_

_I'm on the other end of the street now, the place actually has a buzzer and codes and shit_

_So I buzz for you?_

_Yep, our names are listed with the buttons so look for Kink_

_Don't make a comment I swear Jared_

_THAT SOUNDS KINKY BRO_

_I hate you._

_See you in like...five minutes._

Connor waited by the buzzer and let Jared in before he could finish shouting "HELLO IS THIS THE KINK RESIDENCE?"

He questioned why he put up with Jared sometimes. Jared made it to the door in one piece and Connor pulled him inside.

"Um, wow."

Connor sighed, pressing a kiss into his hair, "I know."

The new apartment was so much nicer than the old one. But, it was for the best. There had been a few robberies on the lower floors and both him and Katie wanted out. Katie had a friend who needed roommates, and the apartment had four bedrooms, so it worked out. Katie had her room, Lisa got the master, the friend got the small room--apparently she was already in that room--and Connor got his own room. Katie had found her old crib in Lisa's storage bin, and Anastasia now had her own space in the office with Lisa's work stuff. Splitting the rent four ways made it worth it. Everyone was actually paying less for a nicer apartment. Admittedly the bathroom situation was rough, only two bathrooms for five people was not easy when there was a baby, a nurse, a student/bookstore worker, a banker, and a tattoo artist.

Lisa worked from home so she just let Katie use her bathroom. Emma was the new roommate and Connor loved her. She was a proudly out demisexual with the most beautiful cotton candy pink hair in the world. Apparently she owned her own shop and was happy to pay less rent, she also liked kids. Which was a plus with Connor's lifestyle.

"Woah, new person," Emma walked past them. "I'm Emma, you must be Jared."

With the quick introduction Connor took Jared to his room. His. That he didn't have to share with the baby anymore. Anastasia was asleep, so he didn't have to worry about anything.

"When did you move? You never mentioned this at school."

Connor sighed, "I stupidly gave Lisa a key to my place and she took the liberty of moving my stuff for me while I was at work, granted I didn't have much. I just...The stress reliever of not being responsible for 100% of the rent is fantastic. Like...I'm paying less to live in a nicer place and I just...it kind of blew over my head that I should tell you. I mean, our focus isn't exactly my living situation when we're at school. It's about who will call Connor a rapist today. I have a tv now, Jared. I hacked my parents Netflix account and they haven't noticed yet. I can put on cartoons if I want to occupy Anastasia now. She loves tv. I just...it's been so nice I forgot to tell you."

"I'm happy you're here, your old place had me worried," Jared confessed. "If you're happy and safe, that's all that matters."

Connor hummed, pulling Jared into a kiss, "Didn't you mention tacos earlier? Because I'm quite sure you mentioned tacos."

Jared held up the take out bag, "Here, you string bean."

Connor almost instantly had food in his mouth. Despite Lisa cooking for all of them, Connor still didn't eat much. Lisa was out, so tonight there hadn't been food available. He scarfed down three tacos in less than five minutes and Jared practically threw his water bottle at him because he was starting to choke.

"Where is everyone?" Jared asked, once things calmed down.

Connor shrugged, "Katie and Emma are out with some college friends, Lisa is...I don't remember but she told me she would be back tomorrow, and demon child is sleeping."

Jared sat for a minute, processing things.

"So we have the place to ourselves?"

Connor snorted, "Yeah, what were you thinking?"

Jared gave him a look, "Well, we are at the Kink residence."

Connor rolled his eyes, pulling Jared into a kiss. The two maneuvered slowly, trying to find balance with each other. Jared carded his hands through Connor's hair as he pushed the shorter teen back. Their tongues slid together slowly, more grounding than arousing. Jared let his lips trail down, nipping at Connor's neck.

Connor lost track of time, making out with Jared was hypnotic as hell. At least Jared had some sense, because he cut things off before either could lose more than a shirt.

"Do you like pie?" Jared asked, wrapping his arms around Connor's neck.

Connor stared at him, "Uh, I guess? Why?"

Jared grinned, "Let's make one."

Connor followed Jared blindly as he pulled them to the kitchen. Connor was in awe as Jared pulled apples out of his backpack along with other baking things.

"Babe? Why?"

Jared shrugged, heading back to grab his sweatshirt. After a few minutes Connor was making our crust with Jared working on the filling.

Upon closer inspection, the sweatshirt was actually Connor's. He had seen Jared wearing it a few times before, and it made him immensely happy. When Galaxy wore his things it was because everything Connor owned was like a blanket to her, his clothes fit Jared fairly well. Maybe he shouldn't compare his relationships, but Jared wearing his clothes feels different. Better, maybe? Not better, but it was something.

"Okay, so when the timer goes off take the pie out, "Jared instructed. "I've got to head out--"

Connor snapped out of it, "What? You just got here!"

Jared shrugged, "School night, not all of us can stay home twice a week."

Connor sighed, Jared was right. He let his boyfriend out and took the pie out of the oven when the timer went off. He set it on the stove to cool and went to his room. He was dreading tomorrow.

And consequently didn't get to sleep until nearly midnight.

When he got up Connor checked his email for homework, and found nothing. Teachers usually just excused him on the days off, easier than making online assignments for one student.

Anastasia knew something was up when she was handed a box.

"Happy birthday, demon child," Connor hummed, watching her first attempt to eat the box before opening it. Inside was a necklace with a duck on it, and she started squealing. Connor put it on her and dressed her in yellow. When Lisa came in she had birthday donuts. Emma and Katie bought diapers. Connor couldn't complain.

"Connor, is this your pie?" Lisa asked.

"Yep. Jared came over and insisted we make one."

She smiled, "Who did the detailing?"

Connor turned to face her. She had the pan in her hands, showing the top crust. In poorly made crust letters, the pie said:

I'm In Love With You Don't Hate Me Please

-Jared

Connor smiled, snapping a picture and sending it to Jared.

_Lisa had to point it out to me in so bblind_

_I'm not good at talking, okay. We both know I spew trash when I speak_

_U said it not me_

_can I come over after school?_

_if you don't I might feel obligated to punch you in ur stupid fucking adorable face_

_See you in nine hours!_

The day was pretty boring. Connor tried to hype up Anastasia's birthday, but he wasn't doing very well. Since Zoe was hopefully at school, Connor took her to see Cynthia for lunch.

She seemed surprised to see him, they hadn't spoken since Zoe took down her posts. Still, he was welcomed in.

"I moved," Connor said, letting his mother get away with baby talking for once.

Cynthia turned to face him, shoving a spoonful of soup in Anastasia's mouth, "Oh. You should write down the address so I can come visit once and a while."

Connor did what she asked, assuring her that Kink was just the last name of his roommate and not something to worry about.

"Are you going to visit her?" Cynthia asked, taking Connor's hand.

He nodded, poking at his soup bowl, "I never took her."

Cynthia smiled, "Ill come with, just in case. We can go get birthday I've cream after."

Connor didn't fight her. The drive was quiet, Anastasia sensing the worry Connor was giving off, handed him her prized duck to hold.

"You fucking stinker," Connor laughed, pressing a kiss into her hair.

The cemetery was quiet at two in the afternoon on a cold and rainy day. Connor stood in front of the grave, Anastasia in his arms.

"Let it out, honey," Cynthia encouraged.

Connor set his baby down, just to turn and cry into his mother's arms. She was supposed to be there. She was supposed to help him. Supposed to be celebrating with him.

"I miss her," Connor whispered, tears running down his face. "She didn't deserve to die!"

Cynthia held him, "I know hun, I know. It's okay, you're allowed to miss her. You can miss her for the rest of your life, as long as it doesn't dominate you or take you away from that precious little baby."

They stayed for a few more minutes. Connor had tried to play it off like it was for Anastasia, but it was for him.

**Alexandra "Galaxy" Rivers**

**Mother**

Anastasia happily ate her ice cream, dropping her has whenever Cynthia brought the spoon near her face.

"I know it's really soon, and I probably shouldn't ask, but have you tried dating since?"

Connor poked at his own dish, "Uh, yeah. I'm actually...seeing someone now. It's going well."

Cynthia perked up, "Oh, that's great! How long have you two been together? Is Anastasia an issue with her?"

Connor had come out to his parents, but he brushed off her assumption, "I don't know, two months? _He_ seems to like her, there hasn't ever been an issue. He knows that she's my first priority and respects that. I just...he's stupidly smart? He's book smart but he's really bad with emotions and explaining them. His way of asking me out was insulting me, but he didn't realize that it was an insult. He's now taking things creatively."

Cynthia smiled at him, shoving another spoonful into Anastasia's mouth.

"Right. He. Sorry. You really like him, huh?"

Connor nodded, shoving a spoonful into his own mouth.

"You both are disgusting, how can you eat chocolate ice cream?" Cynthia frowned. "It's so artificial tasting. I'm getting you a container of that to take home."

Connor laughed, Cynthia hated chocolate ice cream with a passion, she was more of a froyo person herself. Cynthia went up to buy a container of Connor's favorite before finishing off her own dish of vanilla. They drove back to the Murphy house, Anastasia hyped up on sugar.

"Okay, let me go get Anastasia's present before you go," Cynthia hummed, dashing up the stairs. Connor saw the present before he saw her.

A huge stuffed duck was rolling down the staircase. It was almost as tall as Connor. It was round in shape, and big enough for Anastasia to sleep on. The duck landed in perfect position, and Anastasia made eye contact. Connor watched her freeze with excitement, her other duck hitting the floor.

"EEEEEEEEEEE!"

She screamed and ran at the duck, jumping on to the back of it. Connor watched her snuggle into the fluff and actress the duck with pure adoration. His daughter was so stupidly obsessed. Connor handed her the original duck and she placed it next to her as she rolled around on her new giant duck.

"Will this even fit in my car?" Connor asked.

Cynthia shrugged, "Better go try. I knew she would love it. Now, get home before your sad trash ice cream melts. I love you. "

Connor grinned, scooping Anastasia on his shoulders, small duck in hand, "Love you too Mom."

It took five minutes, but the duck did fit. Lisa had to come out and help him get it inside the apartment though. There was no room in the office, So Connor placed the duck in his room. He had practically no space around his desk now, but that was fine. Anastasia made it her job to collect all the stuffed ducks she had and pile them all on mega duck to take her nap. Connor took a few pictures and sent them to Jared.

"HELLO IS THIS THE KINK RESIDENCE?"

Connor shot up, hitting the buzzer to let Jared in. Jared barely had time to say hello before Connor pulled him into his room.

"Holy shit, it's huge," Jared laughed, watching Anastasia sleep on the duck.

Lisa popped in, "Hi Jared-- Connor, remember she can't sleep there all the time. Only naps, otherwise you won't get your room back."

Connor nodded, and Lisa closed the door.

Jared faced him, "Hi."

"Hi."

Connor pulled him into a kiss, happy they finally found a balance. Connor fell into his desk chair, Jared sitting in his lap.

"I'm in love with you," Jared whispered, breaking them apart. "You're the most confusing and amazing person I've ever met. You're a great dad, and you deal with shit better than anyone I know. I don't care that you have a kid, I know that it only built your character, and she's fucking adorable. I know you worry about her and me clashing, but I'm willing to take everything you can offer, that means Anastasia too. I know I'm not first, and that's good because you and I wouldn't get along if I was. And I'm super fucking terrified because I've never felt like this with anyone and I just want to be your boyfriend without worrying about social standards or my parents judging you--I just want you. I've never wanted this before."

Connor traced his thumb across Jared's cheek, "You're incredibly enduring, and it's difficult to like you sometimes, you need to think before you speak, but you being difficult also is one of your best qualities. I fell fast and hard with Galaxy, I seriously barely knew her for two hours before kissing her, and comparing relationships is wrong. I shouldn't compare you to her, you're different people, but with you everything feels healthy. I feel different with you, and it's a good different. I feel solid, and nothing in my life has been solid for so long now. You compliment me and challenge me, and it's great to have someone like that."

Jared sighed, "Not to be selfish but can you please fucking respond to the fact that I told you I LOVE YOU!"

"I love you too. Hundred percent. "

Jared collapsed in his arms, "Thank you."

Connor had them switch to sitting on the bed, just watching each other.

"Can we keep making out now?"

Connor snorted, pulling Jared forward. Their lips met eagerly, finding a solid pace.

Jared was solid. Jared made him solid. Galaxy was a whirlpool and made things shake.

Not to be mean towards his dead ex, but Connor preferred solid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just cleaned my shower drain and I pulled out enough hair to cure a man of baldness.
> 
> Also Jared would totally not trust his voice to deal with deep feelings after his almost ruining of asking Connor out so he used creativity but then of course he just thinks too much and feels the need to explain himself.


	8. Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have an unhealthy obsession with lemon bars so now Connor has an obsession with lemon bars.
> 
> ALSO I BOUGHT ME SOME NEW THROW PILLOWS AND THEY BE COMING IN THE MAIL SOON!!!!

Connor snapped awake when his baby's hand smacked him in the face. Poor thing had a nightmare and Connor couldn't deny her. He reached over and checked the time, deciding to get up when he saw that his alarm would go off in a few minutes anyway. He tucked Anastasia under the blanket before hastily grabbing clothes and shuffling to the bathroom.

School was...well...It wasn't great. People still thought he was a rapist. They genuinely thought that, some even asked him up front. Of course no one believed him when he told them no, why would they?

Zoe, in her part, didn't deny anything. She didn't confirm either, her way of dealing was to ignore the mess she made. It was stupid. Connor was ignoring her in return, not even answering a text when she asked him something. Sucks to suck, bitch.

"Censure." Connor said, reading off the word.

"Fuck..." Jared trailed off for a moment. "C-E-N-S-U-R-E?"

"Definition?"

"Um...to disapprove someone?"

Connor gave it to him. Jared was shit at vocab. Which was weird, because Jared was good at everything.

"I don't know why I worry," Jared sighed. "I always get perfect scores."

Connor shrugged, "So, you really want me to ask your mom about us tonight?"

They had made a silent agreement in the beginning to not act like a couple in public, but Jared had been serious about telling his parents. Connor was willing to take honesty when he could.

"Yeah. Just ask how she would feel about us theoretically. She'll assume you have a crush on me and be honest. If we get a positive response just tell her that we've been together for months and it'll be fine."

Connor hummed, interlocking their fingers, "And if she's negative?"

"Tell her anyway. No matter what, you tell her. Like I said, I would be there with you--but tutoring calls."

Connor pulled him into a kiss, not breaking off when the bell rang, "You're amazing."

Jared squirmed, "We're going to be late!"

Connor smirked, pressing kisses into Jared's overly ticklish neck. The shorter boy started laughing on contact.

"NO! HA HA HA! STOP! PLEEEEEAAASSEEE! HA HA HA HA! CONNNOOORRRRRR!"

Connor pulled back, watching him laugh. Jared regained his composure, wiping tears from his eyes. Connor kissed his nose quick before walking away.

"Asshole!"

Connor turned around, shooting finger guns at his boyfriend before leaving the computer lab. Jesus Christ he was in love with that idiot.

"Ugh, Connor thank you for doing this--" Kathy pulled him into the kitchen, her hands covered in flour. "I was asked to cater a wedding last minute and I couldn't say no. I'll remember this for your paycheck."

Connor was basically thrown into making cupcakes. Apparently Kathy also did catering with the coffee shop treats. Connor didn't really complain, he was getting paid and he likes being in Jared's house. It was always warm and smelled like chocolate.

Did...did he just ask her straight up? Wait? She seemed so distracted!

"Talk to me honey," Kathy laughed, frosting a cupcake. "Can't stand silence and you're itching to talk. Do you need a raise? New babysitter?"

"How would you feel about me and Jared dating?"

Kathy paused, turning to face him. Connor looked down, scared.

"Why?"

Connor shrugged, head still down, "Jared's a fucking snack?"

Kathy went back to her frosting, "I'd be happy. Ron too. He came out a while ago--we wondered if he liked Evan, but he's attached to you. Oh, he gets his snack-ness from me."

"Cool."

Kathy put her cupcake down, "Wait, are you going to ask him out?"

Connor smiled, "Um, he asked me out."

Kathy beamed, going back to decorating, "That's great!"

"Two months ago."

She froze again. She didn't even respond verbally, just stared him down.

"Surprise?"

Kathy let out a breath slowly, "Okay. You should have said something sooner, but I get why you didn't. I'm your boss, it's weird. Connor, I just want you two to be happy. So, I'll let this delayed news slip. And I'll make sure to say yes whenever he asks to go to your place. Sometimes I make him stay home so he can talk to us."

After that they stopped talking. Kathy put on some peppy music to fill the silence. Jared eventually came home and watched them work.

"Connor, there are lemon bars on the counter for you to take home with you," Kathy pointed as she started frosting her umpteenth batch of cupcakes.

Connor washed the batter off his hands before grabbing the container. Jared reached for a cupcake, but Kathy forced a cookie into his hand.

"Why don't you two hang out," Kathy prompted. "Keep away from the cupcakes."

Jared rolled his eyes, "Fine, is that okay Connor?"

Connor shrugged, grabbing his backpack, "Sure. I'll drive and drop you off later."

The two made it the few blocks to the apartment building and Connor lead them inside. Lisa looked happy to see them.

"Anastasia has been a literal nightmare today, she isn't teething but she won't stop crying. She didn't take a nap, I'm worried she might be sick."

Connor frowned, finding the baby crying softly on his bed.

"She's refused to leave your room, and she won't eat," Lisa sighed. "It's your choice, but I think she needs to see a doctor."

Connor sighed, running a hand through his hair, "I'll wait until morning. If she's still not good I'll take her in. Her ears look okay, we're they swollen?"

Lisa shook her head, "Nothing. I had Katie come home on her lunch shift to check, but she couldn't tell. She was in a rush. I'll have food ready soon, maybe she'll eat for you."

Lisa left them, Connor taking his daughter into his arms. She still just cried, but she held on tight. Jared looked so confused.

"Sorry, this probably isn't what you wanted to see."

Jared shook his head, "No, it's fine. Do you want me to do anything?"

Connor sent him to get some water while he held the baby. She was down to whimpering at this point, but she still refused to let him go.

Jared handed him the cup, sitting in the desk. After a bit of coaxing Anastasia started to sip at the water. Drinking seemed to calm her down, as she stopped crying, but she looked miserable. Connor went to put her down, but she started screaming and clinging like a bear.

"OOOOOOOO!"

Connor let out a frustrated sigh, sitting back down.

"I can't change her if she won't let me out her down! How am I supposed to give her a bath?"

Jared shrugged, offering her a duck from the pile next to him. She accepted her usual ducky, but dropped it on the bed in favor of snuggling against Connor, tears rolling down her face.

"Are _you_ okay?" Jared asked, watching him intently.

Connor shook his head, "She's never done this, I don't know what's wrong. She didn't even want the duck! Usually it's food or a diaper or the duck, this--this is nothing. I can't figure her out. It's my job to know what she needs and I can't figure this out. I feel useless."

Jared leaned over, pressing a kiss to his cheek, "Right now all she wants is you. I'll leave for a little bit so you can try changing her. I'm sorry I can't help."

While Jared was gone Connor did manage to change her diaper and get her into pajamas, but she put up a fight about not being held. While Connor cleaned up he brought her to the kitchen, Jared helping Lisa made garlic toast.

"C'mon, you love noodles," Connor caught one on a fork and pushed it towards her mouth. She opened, eating most of Connor's plate. Crying all day was tiring.

"Does she really need a bath?" Jared asked, following them into the bathroom after dinner. "I'm sure you clean her more than you do yourself."

Connor nodded, turning the water on. Anastasia fought with him until Connor--on a whim--sat in the tub first and let her sit in his lap. He was still in his jeans.

"Do me a favor and grab some sweats?" Connor sighed, dumping a cup of water on Anastasia's head. "And a shirt."

Jared exited, Connor scrubbing at Anastasia's scalp. She must have been tired, because she fell asleep in his lap mid bath. At least her head was clean before that. Connor finished cleaning her and pulled her pajamas on, passing her sleeping body over to Jared quickly so he could change.

"Fuck, I have to drive you home still!"

Jared shook his head, "Ma knows the situation, said that she's giving you pto for tomorrow and told me to stay over. Don't worry."

Connor's bed was not big enough for two teenagers to sleep together on in the first place, but now there was a baby on top of him making it feel more squished. Oh well.

"G'night," Jared mumbled, tossing his glasses into the giant duck.

"Night," Connor sighed, looking over at him. "Love you?"

Jared leaned forward to kiss him, "Love you too."

The doctor wasn't helpful. Anastasia had stopped crying fully by morning, but she still looked bad so Connor took her in. Apparently babies could miss people. She missed Galaxy.

"Makes sense, " Jared shrugged. "I remember this huge fight my parents had when I was like...two, but they refuse to believe me when I tell them. But I remember the color of the wall and the fighting and the door slamming. Babies have memory capibilities, but it's not great. Think, Anastasia went from having her mother in her life every day, suddenly she's gone without a trace? Maybe she doesn't know who Galaxy was, or what she was to her, but she clearly misses t _he person_ that was with her all the time. Now she clings to you, her father, for comfort."

"That's great, but how do I fix it?"

Jared shrugged, thinking. Anastasia was in her carseat, holding her duck quietly.

"What if she grows up thinking she's the reason Galaxy is dead?" Connor whispered. "It won't matter if I deny it, she still might think that. My dad used to tell me that he didn't hate me, but I didn't believe him."

Jared grabbed his hand, "Connor, get a grip. She might think that when she's older, but all you can do is assure her of the truth when that happens. It's her choice to believe you, you can't control her thoughts. You're doing the best you can right now, you need to take a breath and calm down. I get it--you're stressed. But freaking out about things that won't happen for years isn't worth it. Maybe give her something of Galaxy's like a shirt. It might rub off on her that it was Galaxy's."

Connor sighed, "I don't have anything of her's. I would have to ask her foster parents, and they probably trashed everything."

Jared simply shrugged, insisting that he try anyway. Connor relented, starting the drive over to the house.

A little girl answered the door, "Who are you?"

Connor sighed, the assailed had gotten another foster kid to abuse for labor, "Can I speak with your mother?"

The girl frowned, "My mother died last year, I'll fetch my foster mom."

The witch looked displeased with him. Her eyes screamed boredom.

"Do you have any of Galaxy's things? I know it's late for me to ask, but..."

They woman walked away, not letting him finish. Connor was shocked when she returned a few minutes later with a box. She never spoke a word, just handed him the box and shut the door on his face.

"What a bitch," Jared scoffed, watching Connor get back into the car.

Once they were back at the apartment they put Anastasia down for a nap on mega duck and she thankfully accepted naptime. Connor then brought the box to the living room to look through.

"Okay, I'm sorry, Galaxy was tiny as fuck, this did not for her," Jared held up the sweatshirt on top of all the items.

Connor clicked his tongue, "That's mine. She only stole that one, although she would wear my shit and give it back all the time. Actually, she was always wearing this while she was pregnant. She wasn't showing, that's how she got away without me knowing, and I guess this was her way of hiding whatever baby bumb she did have. This was a blanket on her."

Jared made a face, "Weak. I've taken like...four of your shirts."

Connor shot him a look, "Yeah? I have six of yours." He gestured to the sweatshirt he was currently wearing, a lame science pun was printed on the shirt.

Connor held the old sweatshirt up to his nose. He could smell her cheap perfume on it. It was way too nostalgic.

"Ooo, she was quirky," Jared pulled out her Polaroid and her pile of pictures. "Oh..."

Connor grabbed the pile of photos. The top one was of her kissing the suicide note, belt around her neck.

"Connor?"

"I'm fine."

Why would she photograph that. That could have been taken minutes before she died. Connor grabbed the photo and threw it in the garbage. Her didn't ever want to see that again.

"You looked so weird with short hair," Jared tsked, showing another photo. In it Connor was asleep on Galaxy's stomach. It was at a party, early into their relationship."

"I was so fucking high at that party," Connor sighed. "Doesn't this bother you? Going through her stuff?"

Jared shook his head, pressing a kiss to his cheek, "She's a part of your past, I respect that she was important to you and you loved her. I won't say that I'm not a little bothered because I'm your boyfriend who gets jealous very fucking easily, but I can handle this. I'll leave the rest of the pictures for you to go through later."

Jared pulled out her perfume bottle, setting it by the sweatshirt. More film for the Polaroid, a tube of lipstick, a dress Connor never saw her wear but could see her wearing, her pride bracelet with both her's and Connor's names on it, a box of pastel blue hair dye, one of Anastasia's baby blankets, and finally a dead cellphone.

"Is that her phone?"

Connor nodded, heading into his room to plug it in.

"What the fuck is this?" Jared had opened the box of hair dye and pulled out a plastic bag. Connor snorted, watching him figure it out. "Wait, it's weed, isn't it? "

Connor nodded, "We should trash that. I never knew where she stashed shit, and she was constantly coloring in those streaks. I was thinking that I wash the blanket, spray her perfume on it, and give it to Anastasia. She always wore perfume, it might make her feel better."

Jared nodded, placing everything into the box again. Connor started a load of laundry and threw in the items they had found in the box. The two then went to check the phone.

I'm the photos app there was a video from the day Galaxy killed herself. Connor hesitantly pressed play.

_"Hi Connor, hey baby A. I don't know when you'll see this video, if ever, but obviously this is me...explaining myself? I'm sure by now I'm dead, and I have my note for Connor here. I just...life sucks. My parents have me up for drugs, I grew up without a family, Connor...you were the first time I felt like I had a home._

_I'm sick. Actually sick, not just mentally. Um, okay maybe it is all mental. I just...I can't fucking do this. No excuses, I want to die. That's it. I don't want to live, because I'm weak and can't handle this. You two just need to know that it isn't your fault. I've wanted to die for years. COnnor, you're perfect so don't think you did something wrong or I don't know...you know what I'm talking about. Anastasia, baby girl...I love you with all my heart, okay? I need you to know that I love you, and that your dad is going to treat you like a princess from now on. It's not your fault either. I know leaving you is wrong, but I can't be a mom anymore. I'm not cut out for parenting. If I keep being your mom I'll end up taking you down with me, so I'm cutting things off before they get to that. It's for the best that you don't have a mom, just a dad. Maybe two dads if Connor decides to date someone. I don't think he would give you a step mom, she would never be as cool as me and he knows that._

_I'm stalling. I love you both, I miss you already, and I hope you both live happy loves after I'm gone. Goodbye."_

Connor didn't sleep well that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OFF TOPIC BUT MONSTER IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND GAY AND I'M CRYING


	9. Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Idk just some gay fluff ig?
> 
> OH! TW: UNDERAGE DRINKING! IGNORE THE SCENE W/ZOE IN IT IF YOU DON'T LIKE! Nothing major I promise!
> 
> And finally Evan is here!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Broooooooooooooooo I learned my mom is allergic to wine but she drinks it anyway???? Mom I...okay.
> 
> Tumblr: @beccathebiscuitbaker
> 
> It's been a while since I've plugged the tumblr. I've been posting art as of late, usual a story prompt or two. Not very good at drawing ngl--working on a deh themed one rn tho it should be done soon.

"HELLO, IS THIS THE KINK RESIDENCE?"

Connor hopped up and buzzed Jared in. It was annoying, because that was how he always asked to be let in, but it was tradition at this point and there was no changing that.

"I come bearing gifts," Jared announced, walking into the apartment. He held up a container for Connor to take.

"Kathy needs to stop sending me treats," Connor sighed, setting the container down in the kitchen. "Katie can't keep pawning them off to her nurse friends."

"I made those," Jared stated, dropping his backpack down by the fridge. "Look and be proud of me for not setting my house on fire."

Connor rolled his eyes, opening the continer. There was only five cookies, and they spelled out a question.

PROM?

"Wh...Jared!"

Jared's pleading face was enough to win him over, "Ugh, fine."

Jared threw his arms around him, "Thanks I was super worried about that!"

Connor kissed his forehead before heading into his room and grabbing his backpack. Jared had suggested they tested being a couple in public by hanging out with Jared's friend Evan. Evan was apparently a prime subject, because if he felt uncomfortable his anxiety would keep him quiet. Sounded like abusing someone's mental illness, but Connor couldn't argue that if he wanted to appear on board with the idea.

"Emma, I'm leaving!"

Emma emerged from her room, Anastasia in her arms, "Have fun guys! See you tomorrow, I'll call if baby has any issues."

Jared was honestly a total dick towards Evan. Dismissing him like he was lesser, it was awful.

"Um, hi Connor."

Oh great, this guy thought he raped Galaxy, fun. Now Connor was uncomfortable. It was going to be a long night.

Jared and Evan seemed to have a balance. Jared was reckless, Evan was the compass. Jared came up with ideas, Evan kept them from being dangerous. Jared was a completely different person around Evan. Not in a good way.

After a few hours Evan and Jared were in a heated Mario Kart battle, both kept neck and neck. Connor was on the corner of Evan's couch, and tested stretching his legs over to rest on top of Jared's thighs. Jared and his lack of a reaction caught Evan off guard, but he didn't say anything.

Connor wasn't a video game kind of guy, so he pulled his sketchbook out and started drawing the scene in front of him. It had been ages since he had actually sat down and sketched, usually he only doodled on homework. Baby kept him occupied, or work, or Jared.

"DAMNIT WE TIED AGAIN!" Jared cried, watching the final score show up. "Let's play a more difficult set."

Connor flipped the book around, "How's this look?"

Jared looked over, his demeanor softening, "Great! I didn't know you were into drawing. I mean--you mentioned it once or twice but it kind of blew over."

Connor shrugged, flipping the book back around, "Evan, are you going to prom? Jared and I are."

Evan snorted, "No. I-I would never get a date, a-and going alone is lame."

Connor shrugged, "My sister is a bitch, but if you asked her she'll probably say yes. Jared asked me with cookies."

"I told you I suck at talking," Jared punched his leg softly. "Besides, prom is lame in general and it's probably going to suck."

Evan watched them, "S-so you two are going together? How long have you been friends?"

"How old is Anastasia?" Jared asked.

"Thirteen months," Connor answered.

"Over three months?"

Evan blinked, "Anastasia?"

Connor looked at him, "My daughter. Surely you know about her, everyone accuses me of raping her mother thanks to Zoe."

Evan frowned, "Yeah, I just...It's l-like...weird? You don't look like a-a dad. Is it difficult?"

Connor nodded, "Absolutely. I was used to putting myself first and now I've got my demon child to take that place. Raising a child is awful, but I love her and want what's best for her. I mean...it's crazy, balancing out school, work, parenting, and relationships. Part of why Zoe accused me of hurting Galaxy was because I cut her off."

"Ew, you would look awful with a dad bod," Jared hissed. "No thank you!"

The two went back to their game and Connor started a new sketch. Jared had an admittedly gorgeous face, and Connor was determined to capture it without looking. One of his legs fell off the couch and on to Jared's foot.

"HOLY FUCK YOUR FEET ARE COLD!"

"Warm them, peasant."

Jared ignored the comment and dealt with the cold foot on his. Evan looked confused, pausing the game.

"Okay, um, are you two like...dating or something?"

Connor nodded, not looking up from his book. Evan unpaused the game and continued in concentrated silence.

After another hour of Jared swearing and Evan silently brooding--Jared won their contest by one point. Evan had gotten blueshelled right at the final stretch, falling into third place.

"What do you guys want for dinner?" Evan asked, slowly putting the game away.

"Pizza," Jared stated, putting his remote away. Connor looked up from his sketchbook, frustrated with his boyfriend.

"Evan, what do you want? Let's go out, I'm buying."

He would regret that come time for paying rent, but he was trying to prove a point.

Evan blushed, "Oh, um, I don't really c-care?"

Connor sat up, snapping his book shut, "C'mon, you can pick."

Evan looked down, "Um...sandwiches?"

Connor got up, tying his hair back, "Awesome, I know this great sub shop I used to go to all the time. Jared, drive us?"

Jared seemed shocked to have been left out of the conversation, "Uh, sure? Let's go?"

The three piled out, Evan heading to the back of Jared's car. Connor stopped him and let him have the passenger side. Connor pulled up the directions on Jared's phone for him to follow.

At the shop Connor gave Evan time to think of what he wanted while Jared pulled him aside.

"Did I do something?" Jared asked. "Why are you pissy?"

Connor shot him a glare, "Why are you a dick to Evan?"

Jared folded in on himself, so he did know that it was wrong.

"I don't really know," Jared sighed. "It's been this way for forever. I can't change it."

"You changed for me, change for him."

Connor went up and ordered his sandwich, Jared following behind like a kicked puppy. However, he did tone it down. The usual snappy remarks turned into playful banter, and Evan visibly relaxed to have a fun Jared and not a mean Jared.

"Um, so you two are going to prom as a couple?"

Jared nodded, biting into his food, "Yeah. I'm not wearing a tux though."

Connor nodded, agreeing. He couldn't afford one if he wanted.

The rest of the evening went well. Evan didn't seemed scared of him anymore, and Jared kept being nice. Connor did have to sleep on the floor, but he didn't mind. Once Evan was upstairs Jared followed him to the floor, taking cuddling over comfort.

"Love you," Jared murmured, interlocking their legs.

"Love you too," Connor replied, pressing a kiss to his nose.

Connor woke up to his phone ringing. He jumped to attention, scared Anastasia was hurt. It was Zoe.

"What? It's like two in the morning, this better be important."

 _"Hey,"_ Zoe hiccuped on her end of the line. She sounded like she was crying. _"I'm drunk, can you come get me? Please? I-I I'm scared, I know I'm a bitch please."_

Connor sat up, shaking Jared, "Yeah. Jesus Christ take a breath."

_"I'll text you the address. Thanks."_

Once the call was over Connor got an address with a few typos, but he was able to pull it up. Jared didn't appreciate getting woken up, but he agreed to take Connor to Zoe.

The girl was outside one of her friends houses, a wine bottle in hand.

"Zoe, you're allergic to wine--stop."

Connor saw the hives popping up on her skin, and he found her car keys in her jacket pocket.

"Jared, follow us to my parents place and then we can head back. She can't leave her car."

Zoe burst into tears, slowly stumbling over to her car. Connor managed to see that she got in safely before driving. She hiccuped and itched at her neck the whole way, tears rolling down her face.

"What's wrong?" Connor asked.

Zoe sniffed loudly, "I'm fucking bi, dude. I didn't know that. She fucking kicked me out because--"

Zoe started crying again. Connor struggled to focus.

"You sent me here because of a sexuality crisis?"

"My best fucking friend kicked me out because I told her-- fuck off!"

"What, did you get a 'just so you know, I don't like girls?' Grow up Zoe, you and thousands of other lgbt kids."

Zoe sniffed again, tipping the wine bottle back. Connor let her, she would have hives for days--not his problem.

Connor parked her car, Jared pulling in behind them. Zoe stumbled into the house, not thanking him. Jared was much better company.

"She really doesn't deserve to be bitchy after how she has treated you," Jared decided, grabbing his hand.

"Yeah, but I can't leave her to get into a wreck," Connor sighed. "Let's just get back to Evan's, I'm tired."

Connor woke in the morning to Jared caressing his face. Connor smiled, leaning into his hand. It didn't take long for Connor to sit up and start kissing him.

"I love you," Jared whispered, a small gasp escaping when Connor pulled him into his lap.

"Mmm, love you too," Connor murmured, pulling Jared into another kiss.

They continued to make out aimlessly, they had a perfect balance. The small click sound that formed when they separated kept pulling Connor back in.

They both heard the stairs creak, and they stopped kissing. However, there was not time to hide the fact that they had been making out, and Jared couldn't leave his spot in Connor's lap before Evan walked in.

"Did you guy--oh! I'm sorry!"

Connor sighed, running a hand through his hair, "I live with three grown women, it happens all the time. It's okay."

Evan offered breakfast, but Jared ended up making the food. Kathy taught him how to make homemade jelly donuts and Connor instantly insisted that over boxed pancake mix. Not that he didn't love pancakes.

After breakfast Jared took Connor home, also creating a group chat with Evan and Zoe. No one messaged on it after creation. Connor had an afternoon shift, so he only managed to shower, grab his prom cookies, check in on Anastasia, and leave.

Work was fine, a bit busy but good. On his break he texted Jared, even though he could have just come in.

_when's ur b-day?_

_Uuuuuuuuh_

_Rright b4 prom_

_Day before_

_Y?_

_NOthing, I just know that turning 18 was a big deal for you._

_And I want your birthday to be fun because mine was NOT._

_You had college tours and I had a demon_ _bby._

_We should just be normal teenagers at prom for my borthday._

_What?_

_💋🍆🍑💦_

_;))))))_

_Did_

_DID YOU JUST ASK FOR SEX???? WITH EMOJIS????_

_maybe_

_WHy?_

_ummmmmmmmm_

_you never mentioned the nasty before just now?????_

_Communication is key._

_consent not communication idiot!_

_Consent and co.municaTION!_

_BOTH_

_BOTH YOU BIG BRAIN IDIOT_

_is that an issue?_

_No!_

_Jfc no, just wasn't expecting it_

_but no promises because I don't want either of us stressing about this_

_If it don't happen it don't happen, kk?_

_Okie! 🌈🌈_

_Ily! 😚_

_Love you too_

_AH FUCK KATHY SAW ME SEND YOU THAT WHYYYYYY_

_❤_

Kathy teased him for the rest of his shift. Whatever, she would tease Jared later. She was nice about it, beaming when Connor showed her the prom cookies. It was all in good fun.

Connor knew he was loved. It was great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I MIGHT BE GETTING A PUBBY AND I EEEEEEEEEE
> 
> my poor cat tho, she won't like the new dog! She already lives w/one and now two??? Poor bby.
> 
> BUT THE PUPPY IS SO DAMN CUTEEE! HE FITS IN MY HAND!
> 
> Current dog is a terrier, new one is a chocolate lab, my cat is a barn cat that I took from my parents, she looks like a skeleton according to my friends.


	10. Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some more Jared thoughts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2020 KEEPS RUINING MY LIFE THE ONLY GOOD THINGS WERE HAMILTON AND THE ANIMANIACS REBOOT AND I DON'T HAVE HULU OR DISNEY+!
> 
> Sorry I'll calm down now it wasn't that bad it definitely could have been worse. Grief does things to me. (Famous last words there is still time left.)

Jared parked his car, excited. Connor had online school that day and he had left early so they could go shopping for lame ties. Kathy didn't approve of the no suit plan and insisted they at least wear nice clothes and a tie. Jared went up to the buzzer, screamed his usual calling, and went inside.

Okay, maybe Connor thought it was annoying, but Jared knew he appreciated it deep down.

Instead of Connor, Katie welcomed him in. She looked exhausted.

"What the hell happened to you?"

Damnit.

Katie shrugged, "Night shift, I spoke the forbidden phrase and this is what I got."

"Forbidden phrase?"

Katie hummed, heading towards the kitchen, "It's a medical field thing."

Jared brushed her greeting off and went towards Connor's room. Anastasia was playing with her ducks, and Connor was curled up in a corner. He looked worse than Katie.

"Uh, what's wrong?"

Connor let out a sigh, looking over at him. His eyes were puffy and red. Was he high? No he didn't smoke anymore he couldn't be.

"Connor?"

He didn't respond verbally, but he stood up and basically gave any support of standing to Jared, leaning against him. Jared held him up, confused as shit.

"Can we not go out today?" Connor mumbled, voice cracking.

Jared was about to respond, but Connor started to shake, tucking his face against his shoulder. Jesus Christ he was crying. Oh no. Connor has never cried in front of him. Overwhelmed, yes. Pissed, oh yeah. Frustrated, all the time. But crying? Jared wasn't sure Connor possessed tear ducts.

This was actually great for him. Connor didn't put his guard down much, but when he did it was incredible how...soft he was. Sure, Jared saw the mushy side of him almost every day, but this? It was honestly beautiful--even though the situations usually didn't end up positive.

"I...okay water works, spill."

Good fucking lord he was such an insensitive bastard. Although, he could hear Connor laughing, so maybe it wasn't that bad.

"Oh my god I love you," Connor gasped, standing up right and wiping his face.

"So, why are you--super edgy Connor Murphy who everyone thinks is evil-- crying? Go on, tell old Jared here what's the matter and I'll...I was going somewhere with this I swear. Talk to me."

Connor's eyes welled up again but he rubbed the tears away, "Um...my family was in a car crash last night."

Holy shit.

"Damn. All of them?" A nod. "Are they okay?"

Connor collapsed in his bed, clearly trying to keep it together. Jared wasn't sure what to do with that. He picked up Anastasia by the armpits and tossed her on to her father's body. She grinned at him, making baby noises.

"Asshole," Connor grumbled, smiling at his baby.

After a few minutes of Anastasia gurgling Connor sat up.

"Zoe has a bad concussion, my mom has that and unfortunately a broken arm. Oh--a few ankle bones too. My dad...He took the most, brain is swollen and he broke his collar bone. He's in a medically induced coma--" Connor cut himself off, his breath hitching. Jared asked sat next to him, taking the baby away. Jared didn't know what to do. He watched Connor shake his head, curling into a ball. His hands kept pulling on his hair. Jared set Anastasia down, forcing his hands away.

"Con--"

"He might not make it," Connor gasped out, his breathing anywhere but normal. "He might die!"

Anastasia bolted out of the room with her duck, and Connor collapsed. Sobbing.

"I...let's try and think positive?"

Connor glared, tears weakening the harsh look in his eyes. Jared offered a hug as his best bet. Connor leaned in, taking slow and deep breaths.

"I can't help you with this, I don't know what to do," Jared confessed, running a hand through Connor's messy hair. "But if you need anything let me know. I'll do my best."

Connor looked at him, "Can you come with me?"

Jared swiped away a tear, pressing a kiss to his forehead, "Yeah. When are we going?"

"I don't know, when I don't look like hell on earth?"

Jared smirked, "What? Have you looked in a mirror? Those eyes, honestly I hate eye contact but I could look all day. Hair? Beautiful. I literally can't help but want to touch it. And this is only the physical shit just wait until I get to your personality babe!"

Connor cracked a grin, "I love you, Jared."

Jared pulled him into a kiss, burying his hands in Connor's hair. Frenching was still slightly weird, but when Connor first kissed him like that he understood why kissing was glorified. It was like...so weirdly intimate. Off topic, focus on the sad boi.

"I'll wash my face and then we can go," Connor sighed, standing up. "Can you bring my backpack out to the car?"

Jared nodded, jumping to attention. When Connor came out he placed Anastasia in her carseat before starting the drive. At the hospital Connor carried Anastasia on his shoulders as they walked around. Cynthia and Zoe had a privet room--both wearing sunglasses.

"Hey Mom," Connor greeted. "Ready to go?"

Cynthia stood, maneuvering with crutches. Zoe followed, rubbing at her temples. Jared didn't get much acknowledgement until they were in the car. He had been placed in the back between Zoe and the baby. Zoe sulked, but didn't comment.

"So, Jared, you're..."

"Connor's boyfriend."

Zoe snapped to attention, mouth gaping, "What?"

Jared spied Connor rolling his eyes in the driver seat, "This is far from new, Zoe."

Cynthia hummed, "How long then? I knew you were seeing someone around Anastasia coming over last."

"Almost five months," Jared peeped. He had finally started tracking the date in his phone. Prom Night would be five months.

The rest of the drive was calm, Cynthia asking the usual questions. Once at the Murphy house Connor set up a guest room for Zoe to stay in so she didn't have to take the stairs. Cynthia was sent to rest in her own room with her broken bones elevated. The lights stayed off and the curtains stayed drawn.

"I'm going to watch over them for a few days," Connor hummed. "Did you want me to take you home?"

Jared shook his head, "I want to stay with you if I can. But, I am going to ask my mother to deliver my car here. She usually walks by your building and I left the car unlocked with the keys in since I thought we were leaving right away."

Connor hummed, pulling Jared into a hug, "Thank you."

Jared smiled, "Any time."

He stole a quick kiss before calling Kathy. She happened to be on her walk, and said she would be there soon. Jared would drive her home so maybe it was a waste of gas money--but whatever. All it took was "Connor has a family emergency" for things to be chill. He's pretty sure she favorites Connor.

In the literal fifteen minutes it took for him to take his mother home, pack shit for staying over at Connor's, and coming back--Zoe and Connor were arguing. Apparently without school or friends Connor didn't care about being civil.

"Why can't she play in my room?" Zoe asked.

Oh. The baby. She shuffled over to Jared with one of her ducks in hand. Somehow Jared ended up in the living room watching her while Connor defended his honor.

At least he couldn't hear the arguing.

"AT LEAST I HAVE A GOOD CHOICE IN GUYS!"

Oh fuck you Zoe.

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH JARED?!"

You tell her, Connor.

"UM, HE'S A TOTAL FREAK! YOU PREY ON WEAK ONES CONNOR! HAVE YOU RAPED HIM YET?"

"FUCK YOU!"

"YOU STARTED THIS BULLSHIT! YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF! IF YOU HAD KEPT IT IN YOUR PANTS LIFE WOULD BE GREAT!"

"NO! IF I HADN'T DONE WHAT I DID I WOULD BE DEAD! GROW THE FUCK UP!"

What the hell did that mean? Anastasia looked at him and held up her duck.

"Quack."

Holy fuck she did not just say her first word without Connor! He already missed walking and was pissed about it. Okay, he wouldn't mention it.

Connor stormed in, frown lightening when he made eye contact. Jared got up and kissed him, way too happy when Connor didn't let him go after.

"And she wonders why she can't see the baby," Jared hummed, running a hand through Connor's hair.

"You...you know I didn't rape Galaxy--right?"

Holy Hannah, how could he ask that?

"Yes, I know you didn't she--"

"Everyone else tells me I did, " he mumbled, tucking his head into Jared's shoulder. "I don't know...made me question...we didn't ask each other for things. Galaxy took what she wanted, one day she just asked and I said yes. Only time she asked me for anything. I just--with everyone saying that I hurt her...I'm starting to believe it?"

Jared caressed his cheek, "You can't hurt a fly, Connor. You're just tired and upset. A lot has happened in the past few hours."

Connor hummed, "Have any requests for dinner? It's all vegan."

Jared scrunched his nose, "That is kinda like a two person job. Let me help."

Together they managed to make a three course meal consisting of a salad, potato soup, and a cake. Jared had forgotten that applesauce could replace eggs, but a quick text from Kathy solved the issue.

Jared set the table while Connor found some candles to light. He was worried about the light being too bright, but it was getting dark out and they both could barely see. Cynthia crutches into the room and Zoe sulked in her chair. Anastasia simply gurgled at her grandmother while messily shoving food in her mouth.

"So, do you three plan on going to prom?" Cynthia asked.

"If I can handle it," Zoe sighed.

"We...we planned on it," Connor shrugged. "I don't know though. It's a lot."

And like, yeah it hurt to know that they might not go. But Connor's father was a big factor in the next few weeks. He had to respect that.

"You two should go," Cynthia encouraged. "Connor, I'll pay for your suit if you go. I understand why Zoe might not go, but you two should embrace it."

"Mo--"

"Go shopping tomorrow, I need you to get groceries anyway."

Jared could tell that Connor wanted to fight her, but he surprisingly let it go. The rest of the night was Cynthia filling out her grocery list and Anastasia refusing to go to bed. Eventually she passed out on the couch, but Connor just left her so she didn't wake up.

Monday came without a trace from Connor. They had spent the weekend together while watching over his family, but there was no sign of him at school.

Jared walked into Mr. Howard's office, happy he didn't have to search for the man.

"Hello Jared, what's up?"

"Um, does Connor have online school today? He usually tells me what days but he...didn't."

The principal smiled, "Connor has a family emergency right now, he called me and we agreed that he can stay home until things calm down. I actually have some papers and such for him, if you wouldn't mind delivering. There only class that didn't deliver anything was the art room, so stop down there quick to see if he needs anything."

Jared nodded, grabbing the pile of books and papers. The art teacher handed him a whole bag full of random art supplies. Apparently Connor jumped around and wasn't consistent with his projects.

Kathy had made vegan muffins for him to take over for Cynthia, so his arms were full when he rang the doorbell with his elbow. Connor happily welcomed him, setting things down at random. Once everything was on a solid surface Connor pulled him into a hug.

"Swelling is slowly going down, he might make it," Connor sighed, the sound muffled by his head being tucked into Jared's shoulder.

"That's good," Jared assured, pressing a kiss to Connor's temple. "I have a tutoring session, but call if you need anything. I will gladly ditch them for you."

"You would hate that," Connor laughed. "But, thank you. I love you."

Jared shot him finger guns, "Love you too."

Connor kissed him quick before showing him out. Tutoring awaits!

_Doctors called just a minute ago, swelling is low enough that they can think about waking him up in a few days_

_That's great!_

_❤_

_Keep me posted_

_k_

_have fun tutoring_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeahhhhhhhh this needed more feels


	11. Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This won't be posted on my birthday but happy birthday to me!

After waking from his coma (Thank FUCK) Larry did have to stay in the hospital for a few weeks for monitoring his brain and because his body was not ready to go home yet. Sadly he had been alone when he woke up, but Connor had come in when he got the call.

Cynthia does phone calls, but both her and Larry don't want to see the damage, so she doesn't visit.

"Any plans for graduation?" Larry mumbled, high on pain killers. "It's in a few weeks, right?"

"Not for another month," Connor corrected. "Not really. My boyfriend and his family basically forced me to come out to eat with them the night of, but I should have seen that coming."

"College?"

Connor shook his head, "I'm taking a gap year. Maybe two." Anastasia was asleep in his lap, but he motioned to her, "First priority is this one."

"I only kicked you out because you needed a push," Larry whispered. "You know I would help you no matter what, right? Your college fund is still yours--"

"Can we talk about this when you aren't high?" Connor sighed, not wanting to deal with how Larry pushed him out.

"No! You...It was to help you. I mean, look at you, you're better. Medication didn't work with you--"

"Dad--"

"--but parenting did! She helped you get better. You have color on your face, you have a job, you dealt with your first big loss as an adult would! If you had needed it, I would have taken you back in, but you're like me and stubborn and refused to take anything less than perfection for your daughter. Anastasia--despite how weird it might be--is your version of help. She helps you be the best you."

Larry started drifting off, Connor didn't respond to him. Once he was asleep he placed the baby on top of his legs where she couldn't hurt anything before going to grab something to eat. All the food looked disgusting, but Connor stuck with soup. You can't mess up tomato soup.

Corrections, hospitals can. How the fuck do you have frozen in the middle but scalding hot around the outside?! Connor went back to Larry's room and waited for his soup to figure out what temperature it wanted to be.

Of course he gets a call from Kathy.

"Hi?"

_"Hey, hun, your shift is cancelled for Friday. I'll pay you for the time but you aren't working."_

"Uh, why?"

_"Jared...He's sick. Um, his appendix burst, and he didn't tell anyone he was sick. He just...He fainted and he isn't good and..."_

Connor tried to keep his composure, "How long ago did he...did it burst?"

_"I don't know yet--he just went into surgery ten minutes ago. But he waited too long. Should I call you a cab?"_

"No, give me your room number and I'll be there in like five minutes. My dad is in the hospital, so I'm already here."

Kathy told him where she was and he headed out, after brief contemplation taking the sleeping baby with him. Kathy was slumped over in a chair, but smiled softly when she saw him. Connor offered her the baby as the best consolation.

"Nice to meet you, munchkin," Kathy cooed. "Removing the appendix is the easy part, it's the toxins that we need to worry about. Ron is coming in the morning unless something happens.

"Why the fuck do people I care about keep ending up in here," Connor tsked, pulling out his phone. He had one text from Jared earlier in the afternoon.

_hey, ik ur dad is sick and I was going to go see you_ _u_ Bu _t I am NOT feeling great ngl so I'm staying home and take a nap. ❤✌_

Oh that was so Jared.

The surgery went fairly quickly, at least compared to Larry's. Jared was wheeled into the room, still asleep.

"Good news, he's fine," the doctor sighed. "But due to the amount of toxins in his body he will need to stay here while the toxins drain from his body. We have attached a tube to collect the toxins and dispose of them into a bulb attached to the external end of the tubing. It might make moving uncomfortable, but it shouldn't hurt. He should be up soon."

Most of that flew over Connor's head. Jared looked....dead. The way he was resting, how pale--almost green--his skin was. If it wasn't for his chest rising and falling he could have been dead. His lips were horribly chapped, he had dark circles under his eyes, his face was puffy. It hurt to look at, but Connor couldn't look away.

"Thank god," Kathy sighed.

The doctor left them with their thoughts. It took nearly an hour for Jared to wake up, and when he did he was high as a kite.

"Woah."

Jared was staring at him.

"Hey?"

Jared continued to stare, a smile tugging at his lips.

"You're so pretty. Mom, Connor is so pretty!"

Kathy laughed, "Okay."

It went on for a while. Jared would drift off for a moment, wake up, and tell Connor that he was pretty. Eventually he fell asleep, color had started to return to his cheeks.

"Head home, hun," Kathy murmured. "It's late and munchkin needs to go to bed. Come back after school tomorrow."

Connor nodded, taking back his sleeping child. She stayed quiet the whole way home and didn't wake up when they walked inside. Katie was waiting for him, for once not in her scrubs. Emma was passed out on the couch, her legs thrown across Katie's lap. Connor put Anastasia in her crib, not bothering to change her out of her dress. Katie had food sitting out for him.

"How's your dad?" Katie asked, unconsciously rubbing Emma's leg.

Connor shrugged, "Better? Jared had surgery, his appendix burst a while ago. Didn't tell anyone he was sick, but he's okay."

Katie hummed, glancing over at Emma, "She's dying her hair blue tomorrow. She asked if I should color mine, so I'm taking the morning off to get some streaks put in--I'm thinking purple."

Connor simply nodded, stuffing his face. He wished Katie goodnight before crashing into bed, out almost instantly.

Jared was sitting up when Connor walked in. He had dropped Zoe off to visit Larry while he went over to Jared.

"Hi," Jared greeted, calling attention to him. Kathy waved, typing away on her laptop.

"I brought your homework," Connor hummed, pulling out the books. "Figured you would want to stay in track."

Jared smiled, checking the workload. He quietly did one assignment before turning back to Connor.

"Ma said that you were here last night, I'm sorry I didn't say anything--"

"Jared it's fine, it's who you are. I'm just glad you're okay."

Jared scooted over a bit, wincing as he did so. Connor could see the toxins collector from where the thin blanket had moved, it looked more like orange or pink blood rather than toxins.

"At least sit with me," Jared smirked, patting the space next to him.

Connor obeyed, taking his boyfriend's hand as he sat down. Kathy mumbled something about heading over to the shop and being back soon before she vanished. Once she was gone Connor pulled Jared into a kiss, although it was awkward because they couldn't move that well.

"I love you," Jared sighed before leaning back in.

Connor smiled, moving to press his lips against Jared's neck, just to make him laugh.

"Oh my god don't--that tickles--OUCH! FUCK!"

Connor pulled back, watching Jared put pressure against his collector tube.

"I'm sorr--"

Jared hushed him with a hand gesture, "I'm fine, but this fucking bubble--"

_"Bubble?"_

"Fuck off! It hurts. Doctors said that I should only have to keep it for a few more days and then I can leave. How's your dad? "

Connor shrugged, he hasn't spoken with Larry's doctor yet today. Wait shit!

"I've gotta go talk to the doctor--I'll be back!"

He kissed Jared's cheek before heading off. The doctor was waiting for him, Larry awake and alert.

"So, you and your mother with be the prime caretakers while the patient rests, correct?"

Connor nodded, eyeing Zoe who was typing away on her phone.

"My team and I have decided that Larry should be able to go home tomorrow on bed rest. He would need to come in in about a week for post op, and then later for cast removal and final post op work, but that won't be for weeks. We suggest having a wheelchair because of our broken bones here, but that would only be for movement from bathroom to bed."

Connor nodded again, texting Cynthia a short version once the doctor was gone.

"Where's the baby?" Larry asked.

Connor sighed, "Home. I went back to school today. I'll be here to take you home after school tomorrow. Do you need anything?"

"No, no, how about you two get home and do some school work? I'll see you tomorrow."

Connor bid his goodbyes to both Larry and Jared before heading out. Zoe never said a word to him. At home Anastasia was zoned on a kids show with a duck in her hand. Lisa was in her office, typing away.

"Quack!"

Connor whipped around, eyes wide. Did...did she just speak? He watched her par the duck's head a few times, "Quack."

Holy shit. Connor pulled his phone out and called Jared.

_"Hi?"_

"SHE SAID HER FIRST WORD!"

_"Oh, that's great! Can you bring me homework tomorrow?"_

"Uh...yeah! Sure, you okay?"

_"Pain killers, 'm tired. Love you?"_

"Oh, you can rest. I love you too, I'll see you tomorrow."

He hung up before Jared could try and keep the conversation going. Lisa had heard him scream, and was watching Anastasia repeat the phrase a few times.

It was a good night.

With Cynthia recovered for the most part and Zoe being fine except for driving, Connor didn't have to house sit his father. Jared was released from the hospital a few days later and he bounced right back into school no problem.

"You can't seriously want to eat dinner with my parents," Connor frowned.

Jared kept his eyes on the road, "Your mom invited me, I'm going. Besides, I've ate with your family before."

"But not Larry," Connor hissed. "He never really accepted that I'm bi, Galaxy was enough for him to think it was just a stage. He only let it drop because of the drugs."

"Hey, can we be positive for once?"

Connor huffed, taking Jared's hand in his, "Sorry."

Larry had to be wheeled around the house, which meant Zoe did everything since Cynthia was on crutches herself. Although she had mastered hopping through the house.

"You guys can go chit chat for a bit," Cynthia hummed. "Zoe also has a friend over."

They go up to Connor's old room, Jared pulling him into a kiss the moment the door is closed. Connor isn't sure where the stitches are, so he's gentle when wrapping his arms around Jared.

"I love you," Jared murmured, nuzzling against his neck.

"Love you too," he grinned, pressing a kiss to Jared's forehead.

Jared pulled back, his eyes serious, "What did you mean when you said that if you didn't have Anastasia you would be dead?"

Connor's mouth went dry, he had heard that? Well, he had been yelling.

"Another night," Connor whispered, scared to speak on the subject. Thankfully Jared let it drop, distracted by a book he found.

He might say it a lot, but holy shit he's in love with that idiot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fyi the toxins bubble catcher thing is real I had one and IT SUCKED. They shoved like three feet of tubing around my organs to collect it all. If it hadn't been for the painkillers I would have cried. My doctor looked so proud of me for not crying I remember his face:
> 
> Holy shit becca didn't cry and she has such a low pain tolerance wtf?!


End file.
